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peterpan520@feddit.de to Memes@lemmy.ml · 2 年前

Today we learnt...

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Today we learnt...

feddit.de

peterpan520@feddit.de to Memes@lemmy.ml · 2 年前
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  • yukichigai@kbin.social
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    2 年前

    What a horrible day to have genitals.

  • Dick Justice@lemmy.world
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    2 年前

    Why did I learn how to read?

    • VanillaGorilla@kbin.social
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      2 年前

      Society forced you. Time to burn it all down.

      • El Barto@lzrprt.sbs
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        2 年前

        I knew I was right to blame society for everything!

    • Fuck_u_spez_@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      Because you had better parents than Jared, 19.

    • Donttaintmebro@lemmy.ca
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      2 年前

      It’s a terrible day for rain.

    • balderdash@lemmy.zip
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      2 年前

      You can un-learn easily enough: here’s a ball-peen hammer

      • IninewCrow@lemmy.ca
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        2 年前

        Alcohol … Lots and lots of alcohol over many years does the same thing

        • Darkassassin07@lemmy.ca
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          2 年前

          Only two cures to a hangover: Don’t start, or don’t stop.

      • Darkassassin07@lemmy.ca
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        2 年前

        deleted by creator

  • moonsnotreal@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    2 年前

    Ok I guess we both have it bad

    • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      I’ve had both happen, yeah both suck

      • ѕєχυαℓ ρσℓутσρє@lemmy.sdf.org
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        2 年前

        How?

        • TaleOfSam@kbin.social
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          2 年前

          Life’s wild, my friend

        • Walk_blesseD@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          2 年前

          Some of us go from having one set of bits to having a different set of bits.

        • TheHottub@lemmy.world
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          2 年前

          Sack fold

          • HerbalGamer@lemm.ee
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            2 年前

            Sack Fold new bandname called it!

            • TheHottub@lemmy.world
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              2 年前

              First album titled: Pinch & Roll

              • kamenLady.@lemmy.world
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                2 年前

                First single: Hanging around the corner

        • DeusHircus@lemmy.zip
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          2 年前

          Someone’s never had their balls shaved as smooth as a Christmas ham. You can definitely get bubbles floating up past your balls, but it takes a decent amount of sweat and a complete lack of hair

    • Grammaton Cleric@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      A fart is nowhere near as bad as the inside of a dirty toilet 😅

    • IninewCrow@lemmy.ca
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      2 年前

      I think I’d rather have my junk hanging outside my body than to have a fart do a 180 on me

  • wil@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    2 年前

    As a pussy haver. What the fuck

    • motor_spirit@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      Today we encounter the “pussy havers” and the “pussy have nots” learning side by side! Spectacular!

    • Blimp7990@reddthat.com
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      2 年前

      deleted by creator

  • WhyIDie@lemmy.ml
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    2 年前

    deleted by creator

    • bingbong@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      2 年前

      The dreaded double dutch

      • aaron_griffin@lemmy.world
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        2 年前

        Don’t put fish in a dutch oven

        • Old_Fat_White_Guy@lemmy.world
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          2 年前

          Instructions unclear… just shit in Koi pond while attempting to Dutch oven a fish.

          • IninewCrow@lemmy.ca
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            2 年前

            God: this is why I made everything a sin.

  • grayman@lemmy.world
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    2 年前

    I was helping my daughter (3) pee. Pee came out of 3 places at once at one point, then 2.

    I’ll keep my ding dong, thanks.

    • Rafael D Martins@lemmy.eco.br
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      2 年前

      Double espresso

  • kevinBLT@lemmy.world
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    2 年前

    W-what?

    • BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      It’s true.

  • nfntordr@lemmy.world
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    2 年前

    If only my dick was big enough to touch the inside of the bowl

    • spader312@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      You don’t want it to be, the cold touch of a toilet bowl specially a dirty public restroom gives me chills

      • Radioactive Radio@lemm.ee
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        2 年前

        Only if there was some protective skin to protect the pp head.

    • DaBabyAteMaDingo@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      Tell me about it. My short stack can only rest comfortably on my nuts perched on the seat - it’s that or having my head get shredded by the razor edge of the seat lol

      Lil dick click rise-up! We need to fight for our RIGHTS. We can’t take this shit no more!

      • nfntordr@lemmy.world
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        2 年前

        Is that when your dick is buried into your nut suck so when you pee, you piss all over your balls?

        • littlecolt@lemm.ee
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          2 年前

          Hilarious, but Buried Penis is a real condition. Small dick + overweight can be a horrible combo. If you have huge balls it’s probably the ultimate triple threat. Best be carrying wet wipes to freshen up heh

        • DaBabyAteMaDingo@lemmy.world
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          2 年前

          Don’t use me to feel better about your shit, little dick.

  • TheLowestStone@lemmy.world
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    2 年前

    Relax guys. We all know girls don’t fart.

    • TheWoozy@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      I can tell you haven’t met my GF.

  • Scrof@sopuli.xyz
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    2 年前

    At least we can all relate to water splashes.

    • Mongostein@lemmy.ca
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      2 年前

      Oh man I had diarrhea in a porta-potty a couple weeks ago and got some splash back. I was not a happy camper.

      • papajohn@lemmy.ca
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        2 年前

        I call bullshit. No one survives the blue touch.

      • Dick Justice@lemmy.world
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        2 年前

        Was it almost full or something? Usually the… stuff… is pretty far below the seat

        • persolb@lemmy.ml
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          2 年前

          That diahrea might have been extra energetic; falling at faster than terminal velocity

          • 4am@lemm.ee
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            2 年前

            Yeah you know those slow motion videos of the water droplet that bounces up from the surface tension?

            Well, that. At scale.

          • Mongostein@lemmy.ca
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            2 年前

            Oh yeah it was super energetic

      • Boddhisatva@lemmy.world
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        2 年前

        Neptune’s Kiss…

    • xpinchx@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      Poseidon’s Kiss™️

      • HulkSmashBurgers@reddthat.com
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        2 年前

        Lol (not porn, but on redgifs because nsfw I guess?) https://www.redgifs.com/watch/unhealthylivelybarbet

        • CannedTuna@sh.itjust.works
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          2 年前

          A perfect example of something that should be tagged NSFW, but isn’t porn.

    • OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca
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      2 年前

      Cold water splashing on our buttholes is the great gender equalizer.

    • drem@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      If you live in europe or asia (i think) then probably not

      • khannie@lemmy.world
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        2 年前

        Continental Europe maybe. On the islands ye be gettin’ Poseidon’s kiss.

  • koyo (they/them)@ani.social
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    2 年前

    im with everyone here. what the fuck

  • Dream_state@aussie.zone
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    2 年前

    The old witches kiss

    • Greyscale@lemmy.sdf.org
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      2 年前

      Its neptunes kiss when you let a turd go and water shoots back up your asshole from the splash.

      • metallic_z3r0@infosec.pub
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        2 年前

        illustration: https://youtu.be/_eTsrtZdAJc

        • ThrowawayPermanente@sh.itjust.worksBanned from community
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          2 年前

          I don’t know what I was expecting

      • Darkassassin07@lemmy.ca
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        2 年前

        *Poseidons Kiss

    • cyber_kalashnikov@lemmygrad.ml
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      2 年前

      In Portuguese Brazilian this has this exact name! Wow!

      • telllos@lemmy.world
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        2 年前

        Same in French, le baiser de la sorcière.

  • OtakuAltair@lemm.ee
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    2 年前

    What the fuck

  • Son_of_dad@lemmy.world
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    2 年前

    I’m a guy and I’ve had those farts that escape up between your leg and balls and pop out the top

    • gonzo0815@sh.itjust.works
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      2 年前

      Is it ok to like those?

      • maiskanzler@feddit.de
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        2 年前

        Whatever tickles your pickle.

        • Pyro@lemmy.world
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          2 年前

          Fuck you, well done.

      • Son_of_dad@lemmy.world
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        2 年前

        I’m 39 and they make me giggle like an idiot

      • madkins@lemmy.ml
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        2 年前

        deleted by creator

    • 4am@lemm.ee
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      2 年前

      Slouching at the PC gets me every time :(

  • dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world
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    2 年前

    When I shit my dick touch the water

    • victron@programming.dev
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      2 年前

      You’re not supposed to shit in the urinals, my dude.

      • phorq@lemmy.ml
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        2 年前

        Then why are they butt-level???

        • _g_be@lemmy.world
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          2 年前

          Your browser does not support playing HTML5 video. You can download a copy of the video file instead.

    • GratefullyGodless@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      Why are you shitting your dick?

    • Stumblinbear@pawb.social
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      2 年前

      Ahhh, good ol’ Poseidon’s Kiss

      • Darkassassin07@lemmy.ca
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        2 年前

        Na, that’s when the water splashes up to your bunghole. Poseidons Kiss.

        You’re thinking of the Witches Kiss.

        • Stumblinbear@pawb.social
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          2 年前

          No that’s when it touches the toilet itself, not the water

    • CheeseToastie@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      Splash!

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