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Almost every live action adaptation of any classic animated movie.
Avatar. Good Lord what bad acting and visual dynamics will do for a movie.
Once upon a time in Hollywood.
Closely followed by anything that’s self-jerking Hollywood’s ego. I’m looking at you too La La Land!
Eternal Sunshine if a Spotless Mind has such good reviews and people speak fondly of it online. I hated it, just thought both characters were insufferable, and there was nothing remotely romantic about it. Felt like I was trapped in the bad relationship with them.
Avengers. Any of them, probably.
I know this is heresy but any Godfather movie, or the Sopranos, or anything that romanticizes the fucking mafia. To me organized crime characters are pieces of shit I can’t admire or relate to. The only movie that ever made me root for gangster types was Pulp Fiction, which is a masterpiece.
If The Sopranos was boring, what you’d get is The Godfather. It’s boring. And it insists upon itself.
I couldn’t get into any of the LOTR movies. I like fantasy, I like adventure, I like fighting, but those films are boring as hell to me.
BladeRunner - is like they wrote the screenplay based on the excellent source novel, then cut most of the ideas out, leaving only things that make no sense. Rick Deckard is a terrible detective, and only wins the final confrontation because Roy Batty… just gives up? I recently decided that my teenage self might have been wrong and rewatched it… nah, still terrible.
The directors cut/final cut does improve the plot line but admittedly the original movie is more vibes than substance. I think a lot of the “neo-tokyo” cyberpunk aesthetic we take for granted had tropes which originated in this film.
I’m pretty sure my recent rewatch was the director’s cut. The theatrical release must have been indecipherable. I hear what you’re saying about the cyberpunk aesthetic - the visuals were the best thing about this movie. I would thoroughly recommend scifi buffs reading Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep by Phillip K. Dick - it’s an excellent (and not overly long) dystopian novella that has so many layers and themes (that Blade Runner largely omitted).
(that Blade Runner largely omitted).
I know we’re dunking on a beloved classic, but it would be fair to state this even more harshly.
I felt like there’s really barely even a scrap of
Do Androids Dream of Electric SheepinBladeRunner.I think BladeRunner is cool, and I’m thankful BladeRunner 2049 actually at least has some ideas from the book.
But I can’t help but regret that BladeRunner has kept us from ever getting a proper
Electric Sheepmovie.Honestly, I really just want more people to get all the amazing Turtle-on-its-back jokes done with Bender in Futurama.
Edit: And how does a movie skip over the
Huge Spoiler for the Book - Don't click if you haven't read it yet.
The electric spider?!
That would have made a fantastic movie ending to roll credits on.
Uwe Boll’s “Alone in the dark”
I rented that movie, and it was so bad that half way through it I turned it off. When I went back to the rental store they offered me my money back.
I said no. Because some lessons have to be painful in order to learn from them.
Everything Disney did with Star Wars
Honestly, any of the Monty Python movies. I know people love them, and they have a few funny jokes. But man are they ever drab, I just can’t get into them.
Super Mario Bros (1993) - it is just horrible, the only good thing about the movie is that it has a practical Yoshi puppet.
any of the new MCU movies post-endgame. they were so generic, and it was clear some of the movies ran out of money on cgi or animation.
Even Shang-Chi?
Guardians 3 was still good, I see it as the post credits scene of the MCU
The rest is boring to awful
introducing new content helps, rather than just promoting the next characther movie or show.
The way I feel about the MCU is like an old relationship where there’s not much love left and you can’t seem to break it off. Some days you have vain hopes, other days you hate yourself for being too coward to leave.
That’s where the comparison ends, because in a relationship you can talk things over together and try to work things out.
Oppenheimer.
3 hrs of nausea-inducing quick cuts
