honorary greentext
The one thing OP is missing is the type of shrimp. Don’t bother with food shrimp. That’s unprofitable! The real money is in fancy aquarium shrimp like these:
I bought all the equipment right from a Chinese seller for Tether
Had me right up until the end. Cryptobros literally do not understand how to do normal banking.
Anon gets shut down by the department of agriculture
Didn’t Trump axe that one too?
Unironically why small business goons love voting Republican.
You can brew mutant shrimp in a vat in your garage and take them to a wholesaler in a leaky bag labeled “Wild Caught Magic Beans” then sell them at some absurd markup. When half your customer base gets food poisoning, you blame DEI, throw down a smoke bomb, and run off with your profits.
And then you realize far too late that stuff like this is strictly regulated and you forgot to comply with all the standards for product safety and hygiene and the state is going to rip your ass so far open that a truck can make a u-turn it it.
not anymore, how long until all that is doged out and we’re back to the jungle
Weeks. Months at most.
took days for the faa to get fucked
Just do it in a red state and buy favor with the governor.
That’s expensive. My governor is an alfalfa farmer in a desert state where alfalfa is ~1% of GDP and >50% of water use, or something like that. He’s already a grifter, so getting my own grift approved is going to be expensive.
Just gotta cut him in on a share of the profits. He’ll be your best friend in that case!
Peter Thiel’s “Zero to One” teaches that the best business is an iron-fisted monopoly.
Far from cutting you in, the governor is more likely to break your kneecaps and burn down your nascent storefront.
Peter Thiel may have been successful in business but he’s no economist. For a government official like the governor, there’s way more wealth to be gained by encouraging competition than suppressing it.
there’s way more wealth to be gained by encouraging competition
But governors aren’t in it for simple numerical wealth. They’re in it for power.
In America, just buy a load of chickens and do this with eggs.
I’ve looked into it, unless there’s a bird flu epidemic, you’re not going to be profitable. It’s literally more expensive for me to raise chickens than buy eggs from across the company.
So I guess the solution is to spread bird flu?
Be a true American and send the other farms infected chicken blankets.
So I guess the solution is to spread bird flu?
Corporate Approves.
Silly goose, everyone knows shrimp is much more valuable than eg–
Heavens to betsy, you’re right
Shrimps is bugs
Now I just need to find a pod to live in.
so tasty bug
Bugs taste like shrimp
yummmm
I tried the same thing with veal farming but little baby cows can’t swim so good :|
Give em a few generations, they’ll learn.
Noe I am just imagining someone breeding cows to get some kind of aquatic cow species. Which would also make a beat band name.
You mean manatees?
I wonder how manatee tastes…
Fishy steak
edit: CONJECTURE!
Like a tough porkchop soaked in swamp water. Those damn aquatic speed bumps aren’t even good for eatin’.
You monster!
Submit it to https://lemmy.world/c/fakebandnames
I know a guy who bought a plot of almost worthless land an hour out of town fenced jt and bought a bunch of goats. We all thought he was insane.
10 years later he is retired at 40 because it turns out that certain communities will pay very good money for organic free range goat.
If you’ve got the time and the energy and the stomach to handle birthing and raising live goats, it is very profitable… for the person who got a large low-interest loan to set up the farm. Significantly less so for the people doing the actual agricultural labor.
There’s multiple avenues how you can increase your wealth, if you have investment capital, and nothing goes wrong.
Two very big ifs, sadly.
Yeah, I also know a goat farmer in my neighborhood.
In the same 10 years, she faced an expensive lawsuit from someone who wanted her land, an epidemic that destroyed her herd, animals dying from people feeding them the wrong plants through the fence, Covid forcing her to close the farm to visitors, and other hardships.She’s barely out of the woods now, but definitely much worse off than if she had invested the money into stocks.
Yup, stocks are almost zero effort and have an expected return of 10-12% long term. Everything else is a job and is dependent on how good you are at managing it.
Jesse, we need to shrimp
Jesse, we need to produce more Balenciaga
Shrimp > blockchain. Can’t disagree with him there.
For that matter, shit is better than blockchain. Because at least shit is good for manure.
you wouldn’t download a shrimp
You can’t eat blockchain
I’m making bank farming shit.
You should extract trace elements, then you can literally make gold from shit.
Blockchain is the perfect solution to none of life’s problems
Buying drugs on the dark web
crypto currency is actually very useful when you need to buy meds that states dont want you to have. i dont know if blockchain is the best way to implement decentralized currencies (proof of work blockchain definitely isnt) but its what we got rn
To put it another way: Crypto is great for crime. Like I get that criminalizing stuff like HRT is bullshit, but…
It’s really not. Most crypto is easily traceable, in fact, the whole point of blockchain is to be publicly traceable.
You know what’s better for crime? Cash.
If you use crypto, you have to launder it to obfuscate the transaction. If you use cash, you don’t.
but what? be gay, do crime. legality has nothing to do with ethicality. dont support oppression and hegemonie!
Do crime? But what if I wanted to be President of the United States one day, surely there is some rule about having a criminal record?
You only have a criminal record if you get cought
And close to half the country won’t care about a lifetime of crimes if you tell them you’ll hurt the right people.
I immediately took a look at the date. When I saw 2021, I said “Of course”
Anon discovers basic capitalism and lucked into an underserved market.
Anon also doesn’t know about all applicable regulations and is yet to be audited by the IRS.
Anon discovered that you can earn money illegally until you’re caught.You can also earn money after you’re caught, but the protection money will eat most of your profits.
Isn’t this technically just commerce? At least until he does an IPO.
No? He’s acquiring capital (land, shrimp farm equipment, shromps) and using his labor to create something (more shromps) and selling his product for a profit.
He owns the property, takes the investment risk, and keeps the profits. In theory he’s competing in a market with other shrimp sellers but like I said from the sound of it the market is pretty thin so he gets to sell for a huge profit.
Relevant Mitchell &Webb sketch: Link
