The Onion Journalists right now:
Okay, unrelated to any of the absurd Trump nonsense, what movie is this from? Is that Mark Rufallo? Whoever he is, that character is my Spirit Animal
This is Pablo Escobar played by Wagner Moura in the show “Narcos”. The first season was great!
Thank you so much, I’ve always wanted to check Narcos out!
Grande wagner
Ooo I wonder if this will lead to be if the few serious articles
It just never stops being relevant does it
If I were an Onion article writer, I’d probably have a mental breakdown. Who can come up with anything more Oniony than this??? (Wait until tomorrow for the answer, I guess.)
I read the headline and thought for sure it was the onion at first
Onion needs to rebrand and just be factual, real reporting now.
Nothing they can create is more absurd than this bizarre world we’ve found ourselves in.
We actually need them to be journalists. The mainstream media are fooking kneelers
Lord Fuckwad has decreed “Some of you may die, but it is a sacrifice I’m willing to make”
Ohwow
Farquaad (from shrek) == fuckwad
How have I missed that til now?
As I understand it, the head of Dreamworks at the time used to work at Disney, but had a falling out with the animation chief there and based the entire Farquaad character, and name, on him. Professional level pettiness.
Eisner I believe.
Congrats on being one of today’s lucky 10,000!
With 50% men and 50% women? Isn’t that woke nowadays?
Oh, I see… Young women… Now, it makes sense.
Eh, Highschool age is probably too old for Trumps interest.
Judging by the photos and how handsy he was with Ivanka, he probably likes them much younger.
These people shouldn’t be allowed within 100 feet of any teenagers.
Or any of the rest of us.
are they going to be forced to kill each other or something? survivors get to be his sex slaves?
Nah, they would already to old probably. Remember he likes them on the young side.
See the mistake you made was assuming the ages wouldn’t be toddlers.
The Mara lago look definitely looks like the capital people in the hunger games
Worse than in many cases.
So he specifically included Puerto Rico and Washington DC?
Surprising, since inclusivity is woke.
Well the Guamanians or Samoans are gonna kick everyone’s asses.
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Sure isn’t those Epstein Files we deserve.
Can he just die already?
President Vance might somehow be worse.
Vance may be worse, but I don’t think he would have whatever voodoo control it is that trump has on the deplorables.
Yeah, the man has negative charisma. But like any other cult that survived long enough, that’s actually how it usually goes. Original guy is batshit crazy and has control over minds of his cultists, and when he dies the new guy is ruthless, efficient, and keeps in relative obscurity, and if he’s successful, the cult lives on. The second guy usually makes a cult into evil machine of hate, abuse, grift, and expansion.
It happened with mormonism, it happened with scientology. If it will happen with maga it will be the catastrophic end of the US.
More than willing to find out.
Might as well, yeah.
I’m releasing this offensive photo:
I’ve made it SFW
I approved it for public release
What SCP is this?
It’s actually just Nyarlathotep half-assing it.
No you didn’t, you left the neckussy visible.
I’m sorry, that was on purpose. Nobody is gonna know! Who’s gonna know?
Enjoyed the book, looking forward to seeing what they do with this movie.
Never read the book, movie was surprisingly good
Book was one of the best of the Bachman books. I really enjoyed it.
This is not at all the worst idea he’s ever had
It actually sounds kinda nice.
Where’s he getting the money for it though?
That. Is the question.
if it wasn’t fascist bread and circus then by itself it isn’t a bad idea.
in the context, it’s a shitty idea, especially when the economy is collapsing, pedo files are illegally held, and ICE is at war with American cities.
fascist bread and circus
My new band name
As a European, this is a “The Onion”-Joke, right?
I mean, it is, but somehow it’s also actually happening.
