I have incurable cancer (multiple myeloma), I’ll be surprised if I make it that far.

Most likely fighting in a civil war against Christofascists.

Probably gonna get downvoted to hell by doomers, but you said filters off.

5 years from now I hope to be in my mid 30s, financially independent and traveling the world on a shoestring budget. I’m very close as it is. I’ve both been very lucky & worked very hard to set myself up for this, and I’m hoping that once I get there, I can reclaim some of the typical 20-something experiences I missed out on while I was grinding long hours at work.

Ideally not in Florida anymore

Realistically, probably still in Florida

Would never be this dark or honest normally but

Alone and afraid. No friends. No family. No hope. Just existing and barely even doing that. Waking up everyday and wondering why I’m even bothering to do it. Looking for any excuse to distract myself from reality. Probably post random stuff online and look for more stuff to post. Try and entertain people so I don’t feel as worthless to society as I kind of am. Hating myself, every single shred of who I am, but not having any drive to change it. Wanting to die but being too cowardly to do anything to make it happen. Just waiting for things to finally stop and be over and to have a shred of peace. To not hear that inner voice saying how I don’t belong. To not hope for some horrific accident that not just kills me but makes me known to someone rather than forgotten.

Pretty sure about that. Mainly because it’s where I am now.

Now time for me to sleep, wake up, try not to cry, and then post memes all over again.

I really don’t think I’m gonna make it that far, I don’t even know if I still want to.

Dead. I have cancer, and it’s not the first time.

AMA

Owning a house

I recently made it to my near-ideal situation in life. After 20 years in the US military, I retired last summer. I was grandfathered into the old pension program, so I get a paycheck in my bank account every month for the rest of my life, equal to a little under half my income while I was serving. Plus, I qualified for 100% disability through the VA. Which isn’t exactly ideal being disabled, but it comes with its own sizeable monthly paycheck that’s greater than my pension. So I’m actually making slightly more money in retirement than I was while I was serving. Plus, I get free medical and dental for life.

My wife, who also served, earned herself a 100% disability rating as well, so she has the same benefits. She did not retire, though, instead being medically separated from the military for physical health concerns.

On top of that, we moved back into my childhood home, where we’re taking care of my elderly father. He’s letting us live here rent-free. When he inevitably passes away one day, I’ll inherit his home, so I don’t need to worry about buying a house in this awful economy anytime soon.

At 39 years old, I’m (relatively) young, mostly healthy, save some mental and physical scars from military life, and active enough to truly enjoy retirement.

I worked in the IT field while serving in the military, and I know I could easily double or triple my income if I went back into an IT job, but I think I’m enjoying retired life too much. It would be nice to have the extra income, but I’d also be beholden to a job, giving up my youth to spend most of my waking hours working. I’d rather take my lesser income and have the freedom to plan my days than have more money but less time to enjoy it. Besides, my needs are more than met with my current passive income, so I don’t really need to work.

5 years from now, I hope to have at least started writing a memoir of some sort. I traveled the whole world in my 20 years served and I’ve always wanted to share my life experiences in webcomic form, but I’ll need to practice my art and develop a personal drawing style before I get there. I haven’t truly been invested in art since I was a child, so I need to re-learn the skills I once had. Plus, writing about my experiences might help my lingering PTSD in the long run.

I also have the freedom to partake in many hobbies now, so I’ll probably pick at a handful of them to experiment with over the coming years. I’ve always loved woodworking, ever since my Cub Scout/Boy Scout days of my youth, so I might try my hand at that. I’m living on 6 acres of land in the countryside, so I have space to invest in some big projects, without worrying about bothering the neighbors.

I definitely want to get some solar panels set up in the field behind my house and see about getting our electrical needs off the grid. Ideally, my wife and I want the ability to live completely off the grid, with enough supplies to survive at least a few months without having to leave the house. Considering we’re kind of remote out in the countryside, and we tend to have pretty heavy winters here, it’s always good to prepare to be snowed in for a while.

On that note, I’ve always wanted to try gardening. I have plenty of space, so I might try my hand at it one of these summers. If I can grow our own fresh fruits and vegetables, we can be that much closer to complete self-reliance.

I also, sadly, suspect I may have ownership of my current home within the next 5 years. My dad has Parkinson’s and is quickly declining. And it’s a degenerative disease, so once you lose motor ability, you never regain it again. He went from walking 2-4 miles a day last year to struggling just to walk 10 feet without getting dizzy and needing to rest. Plus he’s struggling just to talk now. My family watched as a friend in his 50s, diagnosed with Parkinson’s, refused to do any exercise. And within 6 months, they were dead. My dad is nearing 80 and is reaching a point where he can’t exercise much anymore, so it’s anyone’s guess how quickly his disease will consume him. Hopefully he’ll still be with us in 5 years, but that depends on how much effort he’s willing to put into staying active.

Long story short, I’m not really sure where I’ll be in 5 years because I’ve finally hit a very stable, near-unchanging situation in my life. I can literally coast through the rest of my life without changing a thing now. But that would be boring, so I’m gonna dabble in hobbies and interests and projects and hopefully ignite some new passions that I didn’t know I had before. Who knows where I’ll end up in 5 years?

With luck I’ll have finally found a job that doesn’t end with a mental breakdown. Happened twice now. IT probably isn’t for me. No idea what to do now. Scared as hell.

Sorry, but I’m pretty boring when it comes down to it.
For my offline self it’s going to be pretty much the same, hopefully with some small improvements here and there. My job is, what my partner calls, an “iron rice bowl”. It’s solid, pays well and a lot of the people working have been doing so for the past 20+ years. Also the work is interesting so I don’t think I’ll be giving this up any time soon, and most likely will stay where I am.
My kids will be older, I’ll have a teenager in house who hopefully will have developed in the sweet and responsible boy I know he is deep down. And my daughter will hopefully haven’t driven me to madness, but that might be wishful thinking :)

For me here, Thelsim, I hope to have made some friends and to have left a positive impact on others. Maybe sort out some of the feelings about who I am and what I want out of this arrangement I’ve made for myself.
I guess I’m not very demanding of life.

Hopefully dead.

Ideally, all of society has been destroyed by a meteorite, myself included. But also there’s an afterlife for my cats (and all other pets/animals) where they have all the treats and pets they could ever ask for.

I try not to think about it. Things are worse for me today than they were 5 years ago and society isn’t becoming any easier. If anyone asks, it’s probably because it’s an interview question so my bullshit answer is “I’ll either have your job or perhaps your bosses job”.

Celebrating the fifth anniversary of this post.