Dogs especially have an insane superpower of a nose, they surely smell the fear and even just regular body odour of all the previous animals who’ve come through there in the last week. I don’t know if the cleaning protocol of even the most fastidiously-hygienic clinics could get rid of that ‘doggy Holocaust train’ smell. It puts me in mind of my own struggles with autistic sensory overload. It must be the equivalent of someone like me being walked through a door and out onto the stage at Wembley Stadium without anyone telling me what was about to happen. At least in my case, I’d see the crowd, whereas the dog only smells the ghosts of animals past and has to imagine what might have caused their pheromone bukakke.

The same goes for the vet/groomer themselves; they surely emit the screaming echos of slaughterhouse stank like a pealing church bell every second of the day. They are absorbing pure animal terror into their clothes and onto their skin like an adrenochrome-fiending Clinton.