I want to ask for help to deal with the cognitive dissonance I am experiencing. This information is proof that I (if this study applies to me) will discriminate people based on something they cannot control… which is wrong, correct?
Having a preference isn’t wrong? Some people like hairy people, some don’t, red heads vs blondes, etc. Now we can all argue that internal characteristics are probably better indicators: is this person good? Is this person nice to animals, etc. But there’s nothing wrong with having a preference along the axis of a single attribute.
There’s nothing wrong with having preferences. Discrimination gets a bad rap because of it’s association with racism, homophobia, etc, but everybody discriminates all the time, every day, typically about incredibly simple stuff. At the end of the day, it’s just recognizing differences in people and making decisions based on those differences. Yeah, you shouldn’t let something like race or gender impact a decision to hire someone, but you’re already discriminating against one gender when selecting romantic partners. (unless you’re bisexual and have exactly a 50/50 preference) If you’re only attracted to people with athletic builds, you’ll be discriminating against tons of people with health conditions. If you’re looking for a goth partner, you’re discriminating against all the people with happy families. I don’t really think discriminating over pheremones is any different.
I understand your point (I think I do) rationally. The difference is that I feel that any discrimination (figure, style, voice) is wrong… which is extreme, correct? I wasn’t very anxious about those because they felt controllable, and now I learn there is a different trait which I might not be conscious of, affecting my behaviour. That (belief) causes anxiety.
So you’re anxiety isn’t because they can’t control the trait, but because you can’t control or direct the impulse. Makes sense, because you are being directed by an unknown force.
Yes, I’d say that’s a pretty extreme view. I’m also not sure what you mean by controllable? I’d argue most of the uniqueness of humans comes as a product of the environment they were raised in, which isn’t really something we have control over.
Also I have real bad news if you’re worried about things you’re not conscious of affecting your behaviors.
Oh you don’t even want to get started on that rabbit hole. You wanna hear something real wild, it differs by the socioeconomic power held by women. In cultures where women have very little power, they care less about looks and more about personality and socioeconomic status of their partner. In cultures where women are empowered, they want to date somebody hot.
Anyway, if you want the full deep dive on all the ways your unconscious biases affect your conscious thinking, you should start with heuristics and follow further.
I think all humans have some kind of natural scent that can be used to “find a mate”. Not everyone will find that scent attractive but your potential partner might. It’s basically a way we evolved to find a partner to reproduce and get stronger as specie. Of course someone who better understand can correct me.
Can you develop the part where the smell attracts people?
One (old) piece of advice I heard.
Your pocket handkerchief. Rub it on your balls. Then put it back in your breast pocket.
You will get more attention from the girls.
Pheromones are real and powerful.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Claus_Wedekind
I want to ask for help to deal with the cognitive dissonance I am experiencing. This information is proof that I (if this study applies to me) will discriminate people based on something they cannot control… which is wrong, correct?
Having a preference isn’t wrong? Some people like hairy people, some don’t, red heads vs blondes, etc. Now we can all argue that internal characteristics are probably better indicators: is this person good? Is this person nice to animals, etc. But there’s nothing wrong with having a preference along the axis of a single attribute.
There’s nothing wrong with having preferences. Discrimination gets a bad rap because of it’s association with racism, homophobia, etc, but everybody discriminates all the time, every day, typically about incredibly simple stuff. At the end of the day, it’s just recognizing differences in people and making decisions based on those differences. Yeah, you shouldn’t let something like race or gender impact a decision to hire someone, but you’re already discriminating against one gender when selecting romantic partners. (unless you’re bisexual and have exactly a 50/50 preference) If you’re only attracted to people with athletic builds, you’ll be discriminating against tons of people with health conditions. If you’re looking for a goth partner, you’re discriminating against all the people with happy families. I don’t really think discriminating over pheremones is any different.
I understand your point (I think I do) rationally. The difference is that I feel that any discrimination (figure, style, voice) is wrong… which is extreme, correct? I wasn’t very anxious about those because they felt controllable, and now I learn there is a different trait which I might not be conscious of, affecting my behaviour. That (belief) causes anxiety.
So you’re anxiety isn’t because they can’t control the trait, but because you can’t control or direct the impulse. Makes sense, because you are being directed by an unknown force.
Yes, I’d say that’s a pretty extreme view. I’m also not sure what you mean by controllable? I’d argue most of the uniqueness of humans comes as a product of the environment they were raised in, which isn’t really something we have control over.
Also I have real bad news if you’re worried about things you’re not conscious of affecting your behaviors.
I assume you are talking about subconscious fears?
Oh and how great it is to be able to learn
https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s40806-024-00418-y
The relative importance of attractivenesss and intelligence to the mate prefernces and choices of women and their parents.
The abstract is viewable for free. Both parents and daughters prefer the attractive mate.
Oh you don’t even want to get started on that rabbit hole. You wanna hear something real wild, it differs by the socioeconomic power held by women. In cultures where women have very little power, they care less about looks and more about personality and socioeconomic status of their partner. In cultures where women are empowered, they want to date somebody hot.
Anyway, if you want the full deep dive on all the ways your unconscious biases affect your conscious thinking, you should start with heuristics and follow further.
deleted by creator
Get a load of this loser who doesn’t know about girlsmell lmao 😏
I think all humans have some kind of natural scent that can be used to “find a mate”. Not everyone will find that scent attractive but your potential partner might. It’s basically a way we evolved to find a partner to reproduce and get stronger as specie. Of course someone who better understand can correct me.