- cross-posted to:
- adhd@lemmy.world
- cross-posted to:
- adhd@lemmy.world
Why YSK: These email tips are helpful for people who struggle with boundaries and want to communicate more assertively.
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Some of these are good, some are just needlessly assertive nonsense. Especially the two where it’s actively refusing to acknowledge fault or apologize for it, which is standard PR crap. Refusing to apologize and instead saying “thanks for your patience” is what I expect to hear from my ISP when they miss their scheduled install, not from a coworker.
There’s nothing wrong with being a normal human being that is capable of admitting their own shortcomings. If never saying sorry means “being a boss” then that explains why there’s so many sociopaths as CEOs.
“Hope that make sense?” Vs “Let me know if you have any questions.”
The latter is saying “here’s the explanation, figure it out, bother me again if you can’t”. The fromer, while poorly worded, is being helpful, actively attempting to make sure the person understands before leaving them to it. It’s both a kindness and doing your due diligence.
Seriously… and oftentimes just combining both works better. “Hey sorry I’m late, I appreciate you all being patient” or “Hope that all makes sense, but please feel free to ask any questions if they come up”
I’m so happy to see a sane comment at the top here. So many of these are just stupid and border on alpha male don’t take not shit or admit fault crap.
I think it goes the other way too. For people that tend to apologize too much, even when it’s not their fault, mixing in a “thanks for your patience” is a good way to balance it out a bit.
I’m torn. I feel like admitting guilt and owning up to your failures is a virtue, but I’m not sure the rest of the world agrees with me
Neurotypical enough to read body language, neurodivergent enough to never understand why
“Thank you for your patience” gives me such a visceral reaction, lol
To be honest, I find most of these passive aggressive and patronizing.
I agree, but, you’d be surprised how many people find many of these seemingly innocuous distinctions offensive (if only a little bit). For example, I was once chided by HR for saying ‘no problem’ during a seemingly friendly discussion.
Seems like a toxic work environnement to get chided for so little…
If someone has a problem with “no problem,” they have a problem.
I mean apparently some people think a thumbs up in a chat is passive aggressive.
👍
My personal ones for corporate use:
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Never use I when you can use we.
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Even if you’re the only one working on a project, never refer to it as yours. Always refer to it as ours.
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Don’t apologize, present solutions.
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Don’t say “read my fucking email again you goddamn illiterate moron”, say “As previously noted in our communications…”
Our company “russian anthem starts playing”
The last one is particularly important if you like to eat.
I will also attach old emails rather than repeat myself.
“Per my last email…”
good ‘ol corporate clap back
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“When can I expect an update” makes you sound like a micro managing POS
Imma take a second to plug goblin tools. I’m autistic and it has saved my ass.
Half of it is fragile CEO ego reply
Yeah seriously, there’s nothing wrong with admitting you made a mistake.
While most of these are a good rule of thumb, I disagree with ‘Always Happy to Help.’ > ‘No Problem.’
‘I’m Always Happy to Help’ is a fine response, if you’re actually willing to make your time available for the recipient at the drop of a hat. Sometimes that’s called for, but I would only reserve it for a few very specific circumstances. I also don’t see an issue with saying ‘no problem’ most of the time. There are situations where something a little more formal is called for, but 90% of the time ‘no problem’ should work imho.
“It’d be easier to discuss in person” means “I don’t want a record of this because it’s either illegal or shows my incompetence”.
Any meeting that they want to talk about in writing should ALWAYS be recorded.
In a good workplace, none of these fucking matter…
Yup, I just talk the way I want to talk.
I talk with my own character, politely and everyone is happy.
I don’t understand what businesses some people are working in that you’d need to be so careful with how you talk.
I work for a global multi billion dollar company and never had issues, plus the higher ups don’t even talk like this in meetings unless it’s some official email or something.
This is borderline toxic management lol.
YSK, the person that embraces all of these, as written, is RIGHTFULLY perceived as an assholes by their peers.
The thank you for your patience one has always rubbed me wrong. There’s honor in apologizing in my opinion. I do like the making a mistake one though and I’ve tried to adopt that mentality when I’m working with QA on something I’ve merged. I want them to feel good about finding the mistakes and I want to avoid an adversarial relationship. I’ve learned that I get way better tickets from QA if they like how I treat them. Treat them like valuable experts and they’ll act like valuable experts.
I don’t like it, and will always apologize if it is my fault.
Honestly, I think its terrible advice lol. This is the type of shit that makes people not like management.
The thank you for your patience one has always rubbed me wrong.
I wouldn’t say wrong - it is disrespectful since I wasn’t patient by choice. You fucked up, you own it. But then I’m not a native speaker, maybe it just feels that way in my country.
I’m a native speaker, and it comes off as condescending to me.
God I hate forced formality like this. This is the kind of shit Gen Z and millennials are rebelling against and I’m all for it. It is stupid for us to encourage people to be themselves and then to expect them to act like a completely different person at work, including the way they talk.
You may see it as forced formality, but these tips were created by a person with ADHD to help others who struggle with setting boundaries, especially with time. The creator is a Millennial comic artist. It helps me be more myself when I respect my schedule and don’t over-apologize, but I can understand that not everyone sees it the same way.
People write work emails differently, but I write more like the “don’t” list than the “boss” list in most situations. I also rarely put much thought into it unless it’s an extremely delicate situation. The only problem I have with this post is it’s presumption that your way is the boss way and the other way is somehow inferior.
I think you can do all of the things you said without being overly formal about everything! For reference I have ADHD too. ☺️
I honestly don’t see these as being overly formal, but I worked in finance and real estate legal compliance for many years and that may have warped my perception. I think it all depends on your environment and how well the person reading this knows you (aka will they be able to recognize your intended tone?)
Hi Shelley! How are you? I really hope you’re doing well.Shelley, we didn’t go to school together and you’re not my kris kringle, I’m at work and I need x. Ping me if you need anything. Also donuts in the kitchen.Improving my work emails is 99% of what I use ChatGPT for.
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