

*Randy looks out the window to see a 93 year old grandmother being slowly chased and tackled by a 340 pound limp-jogging, hyperventilating, otherwise unemployable 32 year old virgin in a balaclava in 90 degree heat and desert camo vest in the middle of the suburbs. His tactical armor vest, which was sold to him with a cardboard plate that he thinks is bulletproof, also has the word “fedirel” spelled wrong on the name plate. On the bottom, he wears Buffalo bills sweatpants with the logo colored in with black sharpie.
*Randy goes back to polling agency’s phone call
“You know, I’m starting to think the country might be approaching the possibility of entering the wrong track eventually, maybe… If this keeps up for another 12-15 years, things could start to potentially get a little bleak… Uh huh, no I don’t mind sharing that info with you, I am what they call an undecided voter cuz I ain’t one a these liberal sheeps”















Calling some random English nobody? Isn’t everyone in England a duke or a count or some type of fancy title carrier?
This guy is just… Andrew? Okay.