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Hubi@feddit.de to Not The Onion@lemmy.worldEnglish · 2 years ago

‘Flying Aliens’ Harassing Village in Peru Are Actually Illegal Miners With Jetpacks, Cops Say

www.vice.com

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‘Flying Aliens’ Harassing Village in Peru Are Actually Illegal Miners With Jetpacks, Cops Say

www.vice.com

Hubi@feddit.de to Not The Onion@lemmy.worldEnglish · 2 years ago
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  • cross-posted to:
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Authorities announced their theory after visiting the isolated Indigenous community where the attacks took place.
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  • Hypnos9@artemis.camp
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    2 years ago

    We really do live in the weirdest timeline…

  • olorin99@artemis.camp
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    2 years ago

    Woah jetpacks are actually a thing now? Where do I get one?

    • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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      2 years ago

      Go to Peru and meet the cartels. They have advanced technology they use to steal gold and set up illegal dredging operations. And they’ve dressed like lizards in bright green and gold armor. And the jetpacks just glow red and fit underneath the feet. It’s all very efficient and nothing to do with aliens.

      • yukichigai@kbin.social
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        2 years ago

        Go to Peru and meet the cartels.

        I think I’ll pass, thanks.

      • Ichipurka@lemm.ee
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        2 years ago

        In Peru, cartels are just DMT entities…

        • resketreke@kbin.social
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          2 years ago

          More like cocaine entities.

    • reflex@kbin.social
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      Woah jetpacks are actually a thing now? Where do I get one?

      These guys make one.
      Jennifer Connelly not included.

      • GlitterNinja@lemmy.world
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        I thought the first link was going to be “and it starts right now” jet pack guy.

        Not sure of Lemmy etiquette - Do I just paste the link? this guy

        Edited to make the link look nicer

    • Carighan Maconar@lemmy.world
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      I mean they have their own drug-runner submarines. You underestimate how big and professional cartels are.

  • FlexibleToast@lemmy.world
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    What is being mined that is so profitable that the miners commute with jet packs?

    • Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      It’s much more likely they’re trying to harass the indigenous people off the land rather than using it for commuting.

      • FlexibleToast@lemmy.world
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        After thinking about it a bit, I thought the same thing. It’s still a pretty nuts idea, but it could work.

    • INHALE_VEGETABLES@aussie.zone
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      2 years ago

      Children, it would seem.

  • emptyother@programming.dev
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    2 years ago

    This is a plot of the new MiB movie, right?

  • Jacksdiscussion@discuss.online
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    This is some sci-fi bamboozling shit right here and I’m all for it!

  • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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    2 years ago

    These gentlemen are aliens. They seem armored like the green goblin from Spider Man. I have shot one twice and it didn’t fall. Instead, it elevated and disappeared

    • Roundcat@kbin.cafe
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      https://i.imgflip.com/7vslzy.jpg

  • spaysi@sh.itjust.works
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    Ahh yes, the much more logical explanation- secret gold miners with jet packs are harassing a local town! Because? Reasons! 🤦🏽‍♀️

    • Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      Yes, humans with human made technology that has existed for a few years harassing indigenous people is the more logical explanation. At least as long as the alternative is aliens coming to harass indigenous people in the middle of nowhere, who just happen to live in an area where over 100 illegal mining operations have already been shut down and where 80% of the illegal mining in the country is.

  • Carlos Solís@communities.azkware.net
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    2 years ago

    This one sounds a lot like the plot for an episode of Scooby Doo

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