There is definitely a cost. I’ve spent an unhealthy amount of time alone in my life. I even used to be proud of how long I would go without talking. Much of that was caused by untreated social anxiety. It was easier to sequester myself in my dorm or apartment, and study or work remotely.
The result is that yes I found ways to cope without human connection, including imagining that I wasn’t alone, but they make it far more difficult now when I do need to socialize, I feel all the more isolated and awkward.
Also not all human connection has the same value even to an extreme introvert. Like texting and such is OK, but a lot of times ppl are afk, so I might be in a very social mood but not able to satisfy it. Books, movies, games don’t really “scratch the itch” for me personally.
I grew up in childhood locked in a room by neglectful and abusive people. No family because they exchanged me for groceries when getting investigated by police.
When 18 I joined the military and became disabled. My unit went to Afghanistan. When I got out I had nobody or nothing in my life. It was me in an empty apartment sleeping on the floor. A month went by without interacting with anyone, a year, then two, it became a streak like it was an accomplishment.
It’s been about 30 years total of isolation for me by now, including my childhood. I didn’t even have internet for most of that. I took up meditation 20 years ago after the military.
Nothing feels real anymore, I have no sense of time or space. Life is an ever changing haze of moment to moment experiences. I can no longer determine if I am I cold or hot, tired, thirsty, etc. It all feels the same to me, I can see anything as multiple perspectives simultaneously.
I think I have become a modern day version of a person who meditates alone in a cave for decades.
There is definitely a cost. I’ve spent an unhealthy amount of time alone in my life. I even used to be proud of how long I would go without talking. Much of that was caused by untreated social anxiety. It was easier to sequester myself in my dorm or apartment, and study or work remotely.
The result is that yes I found ways to cope without human connection, including imagining that I wasn’t alone, but they make it far more difficult now when I do need to socialize, I feel all the more isolated and awkward.
Also not all human connection has the same value even to an extreme introvert. Like texting and such is OK, but a lot of times ppl are afk, so I might be in a very social mood but not able to satisfy it. Books, movies, games don’t really “scratch the itch” for me personally.
What do you feel like the cost was for you?
I grew up in childhood locked in a room by neglectful and abusive people. No family because they exchanged me for groceries when getting investigated by police.
When 18 I joined the military and became disabled. My unit went to Afghanistan. When I got out I had nobody or nothing in my life. It was me in an empty apartment sleeping on the floor. A month went by without interacting with anyone, a year, then two, it became a streak like it was an accomplishment.
It’s been about 30 years total of isolation for me by now, including my childhood. I didn’t even have internet for most of that. I took up meditation 20 years ago after the military.
Nothing feels real anymore, I have no sense of time or space. Life is an ever changing haze of moment to moment experiences. I can no longer determine if I am I cold or hot, tired, thirsty, etc. It all feels the same to me, I can see anything as multiple perspectives simultaneously.
I think I have become a modern day version of a person who meditates alone in a cave for decades.