Just came back from my holiday to Basque country, where I spent almost three weeks. I decided to take a break from politics (as far as possible in Basque country lol). To make this easier, my phone randomly decided to die a few days in, so I lost all connection to the world.
I wanted to use the holiday to find myself again. I was dealing with anxiety for the past two-three months, overly worrying about money and the future even though it may not have been needed to do so.
I did some hikes on the rocky beaches and through the mountains for a few days. I spent days on the beach relaxing and swimming. My gf gave me a book that, according to her, was meant to take me away from politics. She gave me ‘Fall of Giants’ by Ken Follett. For those who have not read it, it’s a book about the labour struggle in England, the (build up to) the first world war, fall of aristocracy and the Russian Revolution. It even features Lenin lmao. It’s mostly fiction, so she probably thought it would be nice for me to read fiction. I am enjoying the 1000 page book so far, so she was right.
While looking for balance in life, I had my great breakthrough on a rock. I was swimming at the beach when I suddenly felt the urge to swim past the cliff seperating the bay from the sea. There was nothing but cliffs behind it and I decided to go back when I suddenly saw a small rock protruding from the sea. I swam to it and climbed it, facing my back to the land. I saw nothing but ocean in front of me and I sat there for over an hour, staring into the distance. I saw water, incredible clouds, a far away thunderstorm and a boat in the distance, slowly passing by. I sat there thinking how this view will be the same in a hundred years and that I’ll be long gone by then. And so will be the people back at the beach, together with all our worries. It made me realize again how little time I have in this place and how much time I spent worrying about unimportant things. When the hour was gone, I felt like a weight was gone from inside my head and my shoulders, and I swam back to the beach.
I enjoyed my stay in Basque country. I tasted the local cuisine, spent some time at the beaches, the bars and in between the Basque people. I enjoyed the countless political flags and (communist) statements made everywhere. I enjoyed the easy and laid back way of living and I feel refreshed. I’m ready to continue the communist fight over here now, and I have a lot of things coming up.
And, importantly, I will start my new job at the Union next monday.
How is life going? Have I missed important things while I was gone?
Life kind of sucks right now and idk why. I’m in a weird state of depression right now. Been a depression enjoyer for most of my life but this funk is new. It feels like I’m just going through the motions.
I turned 40 this year and last year I finally got a programming job after graduating with a degree 7 years ago. How’s that for the job market, huh? But now I’m starting to think I just don’t have the brain for it. Each time I grasp something I think I’m good and then 5 minutes later I get stuck and feel like a total idiot again.
I keep thinking if I could do it again I would have gone for a degree in PolySci but even if I got into politics like I sort of want to(and no real idea even where to start) it’s the fucking US so at best I’d have to play the part of reformist and sound to the public like it was “left of center” to even get anywhere. And at worst I’d have to cuck up to the Dems and not get anywhere with policy, so it just seems pointless. Watching the first half of Requiem for an American Dream from Chomsky doesn’t help this mood lol.
I was getting ready to work on the early stuff to try and get a CPUSA chapter here but after the drama from this weekend I’m hesitant. We don’t have any real org here aside from DSA and they have gone radio silent. The big Chicago conference is this weekend and I’m gonna try and tune in to that and see what it’s all about. Donno where to go from there tho. We have a handful of leftist orgs but we are fragmented. It makes me feel like a curmudgeon but I feel like we need to figure out how to unify the left if we want any change but that keeps going back to reformist thought.
Ok back to work…
deleted by creator
How are you the exact opposite of me rofl! Tbf I do actually work a bit with the local Dems and though some of them mean well, holy shit are they misguided and brainwashed.
If you got a knack for solving problems and making magic by typing words on a screen I’d say definitely give programming a try. I’m just going through a low point with it right now but to be perfectly fair, this thing I’m currently working on is using code to generate other code and it gets a bit weird.
Making a compiler?
It’s from the crafting interpreters book. It’s the guy’s made up language “Lox” and the interpreter is written in java. The wierd part is that GeneratorAst class because it’s a metaprogramming bit that generates the interpreter file. It’s not needed but he added it to the course just to use it I think. I could just add each of the classes to the interpreter file as needed I think.
deleted by creator
I almost pulled the trigger on getting my CDL actually. It was right at the beginning of the pandemic and we had a toddler at the time and was planning for number 2 and decided I didn’t wanna put that much on my wife if I was gonna be gone for 5-7 days at a time. I grew up with my dad driving truck and get it. If you can swing it I’d say consider it though. I’m an introvert and still love the idea of just driving across the country. Java isn’t thaaaaat bad but I wish I would have stuck with python maybe.
And yeah I definitely see a lot of “Blue no matter who” rhetoric back when Beto was campaigning last time and even now. Local Dems keep asking me how I think they can get more young people involved since I’m the only one involved under 60. I keep telling them to talk with “us young people” and actually move to the left. They keep ignoring me. It’s getting frustrating. I named dropped a TikTok leftist that is trying to run against Cruz and they ignored me on that as well because another guy is ex-mlitary and played football so he’s a good candidate apparently. But to be fair the guy I named is basically a comrade so he doesn’t stand a chance.
Keep struggling my friend, i assure you that most people around you have no idea what theyre doing either but they pretend they do. You will keep getting better and better at it, selfless people dont realize how skilled they are most of the time.
Thanks comrade. 🖤❤️ I don’t think I was expecting a thoughtful comment since it was just me venting but it’s always nice when someone sends a bit of love your way, ya know? Appreciate it.