We’re out for ourselves, yea. But we’re also out for each other, because we like or need each other. Thinking about things transactionally, that cynicism to avoid getting tricked or hurt… I don’t think that’s conducive to good relationships or a happy life.
This isn’t a bad thing. Psychology has shown us that doing favors for someone makes us feel closer to them. Not the asker towards the doer, the other way around. And it’s only natural for the doer to balance their own needs against what’s being asked, and to expect some sort of reciprocity in the future. This is how trust and relationships are built, at least in primates.
At the end of the day, we’re all just out for ourselves. There aren’t any (or many) truly selfless acts.
Every favor comes with some sort of price. Which is why I never ask of anything from anyone and I hate when people ask anything of me.
We’re out for ourselves, yea. But we’re also out for each other, because we like or need each other. Thinking about things transactionally, that cynicism to avoid getting tricked or hurt… I don’t think that’s conducive to good relationships or a happy life.
This isn’t a bad thing. Psychology has shown us that doing favors for someone makes us feel closer to them. Not the asker towards the doer, the other way around. And it’s only natural for the doer to balance their own needs against what’s being asked, and to expect some sort of reciprocity in the future. This is how trust and relationships are built, at least in primates.