After moving states to a much more progressive one i feel like i get clocked all of the time here, whereas back home that rarely ever happened. When i pass by male strangers they dont do the nod thing to me. its very disconcerting. I get they’d by people who don’t know me. I wish I could know what it was that makes people clock me like that. It feels like I’m not man enough here. Not being stealth feels like being naked. I don’t like it.
Part of me wants to talk about my experiences as a trans man because it is a unique expierence that needs to be known, but at the same time I feel like as soon as I tell people I’m trans I automatically become Man Lite™ and a bunch of assumptions are made about me. And then I’m not man enough and am not treated as any other man would be treated. I wish T would do its magic already. I’m constantly feeling dysphoric these days.
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cowboy you moved from a southern state to a northern one, people are just less friendly and more standoffish, it’s like that in most northern cities. just a reminder that you are man enough and anybody who tries to make you feel lesser probobaly isn’t worth your time, just be true to yourself and you will find people who you vibe with
Maybe you’re right…still expierencing culture shock
Where I live (not usa), people rarely (read: never) greet strangers in the street. It would be pretty awkward greeting people all the time. It’s just not done. I mind my business, you mind yours.
Maybe, indeed, it’s a cultute thing
where i am nod thing is only usedfor men u know an frends so could be regional thing meowmeow i hav found is more man thing to ignore strangers in public at least where i am
There’s the nod down which is for men you dont know and the nod up for men you do know from my expierence
Honestly? I’m not from the United States so culture might be different, but I rarely ever see random men around me giving me the nod. Men I know sure but on the street? Almost never.
Nodding at men you pass is a culturally-specific action, and not universal to the male experience. I only encountered it while living in the Midwest.
It’s kind of been a known thing among trans men communities that trans men tend to pass more in rural/more conservative areas than urban/progressive ones. This is something I’ve seen referenced, oh, probably for 20 years now.
Having grown up in a conservative area, I think there’s an element of conservative communities sort of believing that if someone doesn’t look like a cartoon caricature of a queer person, they must be cishet and any ‘evidence’ to the contrary will be waved away. So what would be called a baby face in a conservative area might be seen as a feminine face in a progressive one.
By contrast in progressive communities, my experience is that cis people will kind of over correct and assume that if you look gender nonconforming then you’re trans. Ask any butch lesbian in an urban area and they will probably tell you that they also get they’d a lot! Obviously it’s not the same as it is for trans people, but it’s probably nothing you in particular are doing to “cause” it.
It’s a sucky experience but try to see it as it is: their imperfect interpretation of you, based on almost nothing other than a quick glance. Correct them if it’s worth your time and do your best to shake it off if it’s not.
Something funny (and not funny) that happened to me is that someone who did not know I was trans thought I’d be transphobic because (presumably) I’m from the south and shared with me all of their shitty opinions on trans people in private thinking I’d agree with them
Oh jeeze yeah, that and the sudden turbo sexism out of nowhere is REALLY disconcerting when it starts to happen. It’s a real eye opener.
It’s interesting how both are oppressive in different ways
Not US, but coming from a somewhat progressive area, I don’t get what you mean by nodding. I know that as something you do to say hi while you’re talking, you’re far away, have hands occupied and can’t wave, etc. And I default to “they” for practically everybody.
What does being clocked mean?
being clocked is when someone notices youre trans against your will
