Yeah but not instantly. It would drag you around the road grinding your meats and bones into a nice pasty consistency.

Oh, your monthly fee is due.

Totally fine if we didn’t have to pay them for healthcare. Its a bit like California home insurance… Fire burnt down your house? Sorry bro, its not that kind of insurance! This is driving insurance for your house! You house wasn’t driving at the time it burnt was it?

This is.

Teenagers in a hardshell… Hopefully you aren’t too late and can bring them back to life with some pizza?

Please, let me draw your attention to the size of the brow and the location of it near the center of the face. You’ll notice how this is actually not the guy you’re looking for.

You mean Faraday Cage bags right?

The police have a hard time not breaking into the wrong house and shooting the wrong person while the person is sleeping. Its a little problematic.

Hey, you’re all up to date! Your computer is missing items that are really important! Like Linux for example.

Also thank fuck I’m not in my company’s IT department. Like really? Busy with engineering parameters and getting parts drawn up and ready for procurement? How about a little Windows update? Its just going to take a few Microsoft minutes… 2seconds to be exact, 3 hrs actually, 25 days, 23 seconds, 7:15! , 4 years exactly, 19hrs, 256368468 microseconds!..were almost there! You’re not on your first ow two planned work from home days are you? Admim password please! Oh hey, don’t shut down the computer!

The devil is red but the silicone skin is still a little translucent. I’m sure that big book he talks about selling probably has some more details.

They are easy to protect now that they live in a 5 gallon glass jar and migrate from one side to the other depending on the AC situation. Probably just threatened then?

You both make good points so I up voted.

Conservatives… We were expecting all poor women to be pregnant by this time. Now we have a glut of pregnancy related paper and plastic products as well as an incoming avalanche of mini vans, baby carriers, Filipino immigrants to make more Filipino citizens to then care for all these Floridian people when they’re old and under the UnitedHealth umbrella to recover a few more billions. We were prepared! But now, sir, we have to live with this. I mean, I have to go get doughnuts and just look at the mass of people fucking everywhere that I have to scooch around just to get thru! This is horrible! And the Filipinos! Tabo! Tabo! Manang! Hay na ko! We need that law to make them all non citizens again! Hurry!

For everything else there’s pornhub.

Buy anything that must login to a web server not located at your house and expect it to get bricked when that server doesn’t work anymore. Simple…don’t. Plus they are clearly gaining something from you.

I just noticed that he has a nose.

At united health care we really respect all the money we extract from all your dying folks and recently we noticed that one of you died one of us. So we started a manhunt for anyone of you and now we got a rando who sort of looks the part. Thank you for the inconvenience. We will be ghosts now since you won’t find any of our names online starting now…wait not, starting now!

My Christmas cookies from Costco come in a Faraday Cage… I’m so criminal right now!

Lol! What do you mean Saddam Hussein wasn’t Mexican? He and his buddy Assad and the guy who we dropped in the ocean in the ebd.