Body: you’re so thirsty. dehydrated. tongue sticking to your mouth, so thiiiiirsty. go pee eight times before falling asleep and evacuate every fluid ounce of fucking water in your body for no reason thiiiiiiirsty

Fight or flight response activated!

But the danger is gone, what do you want me to d-

FIGHT OR FLIGHT THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW

Thanks brain!

Hey can you let me forget that cringey thing I did at summer camp? I’m in agony and it’s been thirty years

Me: We haven’t evolved much in 800 thousand years. Can you please make me stop craving sugar?

Brain: Do drugs, get mad for no reason

Me: what

Brain: Here’s a dream about having sex with Barney the Dinosaur

ooooh shiny

I was wrong, I shall edit my comment

Is this a Terrance and Phillip reference

“I’m 14 and don’t speak English! Please don’t turn me into an unwilling concubine and forbid me from seeing my parents ever again!”

The fate of this Pocahontas is far far more merciful than the fate of the real one.

No wars were won in an enclosed space <-- i was wrong see below

This lack of concern for our neighbors was crafted by the elites so that we won’t organize against them.

When we’re hurt, angry, scared, broke, stressed out, we become selfish, like animals backed into a corner.

The elites have studied this and they know exactly how far they can push us before we fight back. They are keeping us hurt and angry so that we won’t work together and they stay in power forever.

Dark Souls

I’ve never played any of the games, but the wikis have so much reading material I can stay engaged for hours.

It’s a universe populated by unfathomably evil undead beings. They farm humans for their flesh and their souls, and there is no chance humanity will ever free themselves.

It’s an incredibly dark setting, but it’s hauntingly beautiful. What kind of society would these creatures develop? Architecture, art, religion. Their civilization is an anathema to us but that’s why it’s so alien and captivating

ELO is a term used in ranked competitive video games. Part of this author’s sense of humor is that tinder is a ranked game

edit: see correction below

There’s a whole section of pornhub dedicated to it, if you get bored

why is no one yelling

Their error messages are never this informative.

If it tastes good it’s bad for me

Kick my dad in the nuts on my conception night

I made my mom’s work day even more stressful and I wish someone had fucking asked me first before creating me

OPSEC “operational security” is protecting yourself from harm with safe practices, study and research, and technology