If it helps you at all, I thought the same thing. I’m in my early 40’s, scared to death of what might happen in this political climate, and went through some very rough times in the last few years. I finally said enough last month and told my spouse. They’re helping me find clothing and picking out nail polish and going with me to my clinic appointments. Find the right people to support you and you can do anything. You can even be yourself, and it’s never too late.

I finally bought a set of my own polish (instead of using my spouse’s) and I have a light blue on the outer toes. They’re gorgeous! The little things do so much sometimes

Oh dear, I am aware of how expensive it can be. I’m in the US, and on top of being extremely expensive it’s just as slow to get specialist appointments. You should still make sure to see a physician and get your blood tests, even if you DIY. We don’t want to lose you to complications! I’m sorry to hear about the dog and I hope they pull through. When you’re ready, I hope you get the care you deserve!

I realize that everyone’s situation is different and you may have valid reasons preventing you from transitioning. That said, you should consider doing it now. I figured it out at 30, and 11 years later I am bitter that I waited to begin. Don’t regret the missed years and experiences. Also, I am causing my spouse a lot of grief and self questioning. They constantly ask if they are the reason I didn’t do it sooner. They’re not at fault, but they will always have that nagging thought in the back of their mind. I realize everyone is in a unique situation and that the timing is very much terrible, but do consider it, at least. Whether you do or not, you’re still valid and you matter!

Not directly in your life, but you still need to know that you are valid! Coming from someone who is afraid that I will be hearing more of that in the future, we need to stand together. It’s sickening. And it shouldn’t be this way.

I go for my first HRT consult tomorrow. This hit me right in the feels. Hopefully those start working again after I get new meds

Happy for you! Breaking out of the egg is harder than it feels it should be, but it is so worth doing.

I would constantly tell the women to use the men’s room before distance running events because it was always empty and their line was down the street. Nobody cares! Why should anyone suffer that when it isn’t necessary? Especially for people with conditions like IBS, restroom restrictions just seem like punishment.

The issue with this thinking is that it ignores that elected officials are proposing this legislation at all, usually to whip up support in their voter base. Which means that their voters want it, or they believe they do. Some part of the population wants it to happen, and those people are dangerous to us whether bills like this pass or not. Texas still belongs on a “do not travel” list, even if there are internal enclaves of sanity and compassion within the state.

I will add to the other excellent comments here: there are no perfect times. Waiting for everything to align just so will prevent everything from ever happening. Pick a goal and start it. Now. It seems like you took the first step, so congratulations! I’m not bitter about it, but I am an example of what happens when you wait for perfect alignment. You may wake up one day and say “why did I let the last decade go by in a fog instead of taking action” and regret missing some of your best years living as the real you. Don’t wait for any conditions, just improve the ones you have as you go.

Thank you!

Well, I finally came out to my spouse after a decade feeling trapped. The support I received was more than I could have ever hoped for from them! And this community seems pretty fantastic. So for once in what feels like forever, this one was a good week. There’s always hope and someone who will love you for who you are. You just have to find them! ;{

Thank you immensely for doing what you do, and for persevering through the difficult parts while doing it. You’re exactly the kind of hero we need more of. I’m sorry there are still so many terrible people.

As a fellow cat-holder while your spouse trims their claws, Glory to you and your House!

You’re the second person to recommend them, so I’ll definitely consider them if I can’t find a local provider. I was just hoping to find a practitioner who knew the area and would be able to also recommend places for other services I (or my spouse! They’re part of this journey, too) may need down the line.

Heh, I don’t sleep well. Too many worries and mental battles over dysphoria vs. being out. And I feel like I’m still stuck in that rift. The username felt appropriate, since Miranda is on my shortlist for possible names, too!

Alma

I hadn’t looked at that yet. Thank you for pointing it out!

Yes, sort of. In this area it’s Horizon. FEP seems to just be a branch of whatever the regional blue cross and/or blue shield is. I have been using their “Find a Doctor” tool to tell who’s in-network after finding people on the lists like pridecenter.org or outcare or WPATH, but so far nobody’s been covered.

insurance requires a letter from someone actively prescribing and monitoring the progress of HRT for 12 or more months consecutively to cover any of those services

That’s precisely why I wanted to find a doctor do to this with. I’ve already missed too much with the wrong outside.

I’m in NJ, but not the progressive part of it. I guess Philly would be my closest friendly place to find anyone, and I definitely hear you about the “going official” issues in the US right now. It’s one of the reasons I’m so frightened of telling the wrong people.

I don’t know if I like the idea of DIY. I believe that it works, but I also know that I’m clumsy and forgetful enough to do something wrong. I also really need to talk to a therapist because I will definitely want my letters for surgery someday.

Folkx or Galileo

This is the first I’ve seen of either of these, so thank you! I’ll have a look!

This is fantastic advice, and I’m glad to know I’m not alone. It’s honestly been quite difficult and frightening to try navigating this. I also feel like I was putting too much weight on my spouse to help me and that’s not fair to them.

I realize I have to tell my PCP eventually. My last one I’d have told in a heartbeat, but the good ones get promoted out of my area because the backwoods aren’t a priority. The new one is quite clinical and has his degree from a highly conservative/evangelical area and frankly scares me. I’ll be looking anyway, I guess.

My “local” communities are all a little over an hour from me, from what I can tell. I’ll try to find a way to get in touch with some of them in the meantime.

Thank you very much for sharing!