Boxer briefs are for pussies.

I have dangly balls and every time I sit down I sit on one or both.

Is this an acceptable excuse?

Damn he could invade me if he wanted.

Bro what happened to moderation?

We used to play bobbing for cobs when I was a kid.

We all liked it better than bobbing for knobs at the church.

I thought this was one of those average daily temperature scarfs at first.

Hitler and Trump twice.

Your ex-girlfriend was my first thought too.

I make a mean habanero pulled pork taco and this is how I spend the next day.

Luckily my wife and I have side-by-side toilets so we can hold hands as we simultaneously shit.

As written!

In this case the fist jam might be more effective.

I wonder if they’re going to have special rules what you can and can’t do with them.

I looked into it and since my whole house runs on batteries having a battery powered one doesn’t change much it just uses too much power generally so a propane stove is much better for my specific use case.

He’s so afraid of the government taking away his rights that he consistently votes for the party that takes away rights.

The main thing would be what’s the voltage/amperage required and how does the oven work if it’s a standard one or not.

The mexicans and canadians put clam sweat into it and call it clamato and I just think it’s all the more reason to build two walls.

I’d rather eat the cigarette than drink the V8.

Oh man if one of them farted in my direction I would ruin my santa pants.

Isn’t there enough nicotine in a cigarette to kill a non-smoker if eaten?

What does a beholder have to do with anything?