• 13 Posts
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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 4th, 2023

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  • Your point is spot-on. Fully agreed: modern dishwashers are way more energy- and water-efficient than manually washing dishes. Like at least an order of magnitude.

    I personally struggle with this one for different reasons. Energy and water consumption are a very tight concern since I live on a sailboat. I can’t just crank the tap to get more water. Marine health is also a concern since, ya know, it’s all around me, and I eat some of these critters around my boat. Surfactants in detergent are deeply problematic in the environment and are not removed by most wastewater treatment. Moreover, surfactants impede wastewater treatment because of the emulsification interfere with aerobic treatment (Poland seems to be actively working on the problem). FWIW, manual dish detergent also has surfactants, especially SDS/SLS, so manual washing is not a panacea.

    I don’t think there is a “right” answer to be had. But it sticks in my craw both ways.




  • May I suggest reading a history book? “Lies My Teacher Told Me” is excellent. “A People’s History of the United States” is also great. Or, maybe you would like to understand how you’ve been manipulated. Well, cool, maybe “Manufacturing Consent.”

    One of the significant contradictions of democracy in the US is that it was largely shaped by various forms of illegal civil disobedience against entrenched power structures. Such civil disobedience is retrospectively seen as justified, committed by people who are retrospectively seen as heroes. But each successive generation is demanded to believe that any further civil disobedience is unreasonable.

    Just a small selection of a long history of US civil disobedience:

    • Boston Tea Party
    • Great Railroad Strike
    • Haymarket affair
    • Battle of Blair Mountain - largest armed insurrection in America since the Civil War
    • Selma to Montgomery Marches

    There is a lot we get to take for granted from our comfortable, privileged perches built with the blood and tears of those who would perform civil disobedience.


  • You will still need plenty of carbs and fat as those are what gives you energy, but you can skew the ratio towards protein.

    OP, I just wanted to point out that this line from another comment is confidently incorrect. You do not need carbs. You may want them, you may even prefer them. But “need” is straight up wrong; our bodies operate just fine in a complete absence of digestible carbohydrates. You do, however, absolutely require healthy fats (saturates and monounsaturates; processed PUFA are seriously bad) and complete protein. Sources: “Good Calories, Bad Calories,” Taubes; “Fat Chance” and “Hacking of the American Mind,” Lustig; “Body by Science,” Little and McGuff. There are loads of books you can read to get the answers to your questions rather than relying on Internet hearsay.

    It sounds like, at least in part, sourcing is one of the issues with ingredients, and that you’ve been getting conflicting information because people leave out that context. Peanuts can be awful for you, but sourced with care, they’re great! Oh, right, how do we know our food supply integrity? Well, now we’re actually getting into the meat of the issue. No pun intended.

    None of this answer your questions, and that was intentional. Also, sorry. But I did provide you with some excellent sources to start getting answers that are not a bunch of unsubstantiated Internet hearsay. You have one body, and it happens to carry your brain. Invest in it like your life depends on it.

    Edit: wrong book title







  • Thank you for this. My wife left about a week ago. It blindsided me, but I’m hindsight I could have seen it.

    1. Happy to help
    2. JFC, I’m sorry to hear what you’re going through, and I deeply empathize. I’m just some douchebag on the internet, but if you need a trained ear, please feel free to DM me.
    3. Sure, hindsight is 20/20, but a critical component is giving yourself grace and emotional space

    Now I realize that if I don’t work on myself, I will bring all of my problems to any future relationship. I’m only at the very start of the journey, and every day is still painful – our relationship lasted 15 years, and that can’t be unwound quickly.

    There is sense of closure and ability of growth in understanding the whys. Explicitly working to avoid carrying forward the injuries is a huge step. As you probably already read in Gottman: the best couple’s therapy is individual therapy. Empathy by way of anecdote: when I was reading Levine’s “Attached,” so many of the example conversations had me feeling like “Were y’all in the room when we were arguing?!”

    I’m serious about the being a sounding board/ear. I hope you find inner peace sooner rather than later.


  • Fully agreed. According to Gottman’s research, relationships can survive “infidelity” just fine. It’s the betrayal of trust that nukes relationships.

    I can take a lot of shit, but I just don’t want to be lied to. And that’s why I prefer ENM/poly. People are gonna do people things, but letting my partner have that outlet, not feeling trapped in any way, is (in my experience) critical to keeping the flame alive.


  • She didn’t change; she finally revealed herself. In short, her attachment type is anxious-avoidant. That shit burns down everything around it. She was jealous AND cheating, which was just rich given that we were ENM/poly. I was so busy with life, work, and my sailboat that I only had romantic bandwidth for her.

    I am forever changed. I went on an intensive therapeutic and introspective journey. Anxious-avoidant people can be immensely attractive anxious attachment types like me. I identified that in myself, addressed my own life traumas, and developed my personal boundaries. These days, I’m less poly, more monogamish. I approached dating with explicitly defined intentions and must-haves, rather than just random chance. I found the partner of my dreams, and we’re about to celebrate eight years together.

    Early on, there were mutual warning signs, but we both thought we had the tools to face any challenges. As I mentioned, I had poor boundaries, which now would put an immediate end to any such bullshit.

    What can I offer now?

    • Learn Attachment Theory and know yourself
    • Read John Gottman books before and all during your relationships
    • Get professional therapeutic help; CBT, DBT, EFT… you might already have all the tools, but a good therapist will teach how to use them in integration
    • Learn non-violent communication and/or take a workshop; this will provide massive return on investment in all aspects of your life
    • Practice meditation and mindfulness; also pays dividends everywhere

  • I love that we have so many portable gaming options now. And the hardware is getting powerful enough that I want to try to build a workstation or server on a handheld, just for shits and giggles.

    But MS is a day late and dollar short on this one. The Linux/Steam/Proton gaming ship has sailed. Can MS really deliver such compelling exclusives that people are willing to go back to the MS lock-in, Windows bullshit, and terrible user experience?






  • Happy to help! The bikewrench community (https://lemmy.world/c/bikewrench) is really helpful and mostly populated by knowledgeable people. Just make sure to be patient for correct answers.

    Non-electric, non-whiz-bang bicycles are inherently knowable to everyone. All the functions are sitting right there in the open. Even the bits inside other bits are still comprehensible to a non-techie person willing to put in a couple hours of learning.

    This is in contrast to, say, an internal gear hub (IGH). There are not many people who can work on the internals of these things. I mean actually repair and rebuild them, and make them better than new.

    If you’re in the neglectful commuter segment, take a look at Shimano CUES Linkglide. You can get an entire group for something like $350 (don’t quote me on that). There’s a lot more to indicate CUES, but I’ll spare you.