Relationships aren’t business deals. You don’t pay for sex with choirs and brownie points.

All relationships are transactional. There may not always be an explicit ledger with columns for AP/AR. Interpersonal relationships that repeatedly fail to provide the expected return on investment result in dysfunction and toxicity. We always pay for sex and companionship; the currency just probably isn’t money.

Came looking for this comment. It’s absolutely critical to know thyself, and understanding one’s attachment style is one of the easier bits of self-knowledge.

One of the most accessible books on the topic is “Attached” by Levine and Heller. For me, that book was such an eye-opener. I read it as my second marriage was imploding, and I was grabbing at everything to try to save it. The example conversations for my and my ex’s attachment styles were uncanny. I kept getting the feeling of “were y’all in the room with us for that argument?”

I’ve seen this from different angles of results. I like my place to be neat, clean, and dialed. I had a partner of eight years, and we had a mutually agreed division of house chores. She complained that her chores were sapping her libido, that my standards were too high. “I hear you honey. Would it help if I did everything, leaving you to focus on your graduate degree?” She confirmed that would be helpful all around. Yeah, except things got even worse.

And reacting to “I’m just not horny after [doing my share of maintaining our home life]” has, in my experience, been a trap. In retrospect, that late stage behavior has always been my wife/partner trying to bleed the relationship just a little more before throwing away the husk, all while weaseling out of any reciprocal effort. I also now understand that I was self-selecting whatever that personality archetype is.

Now, with my current partner, she loves being of service. When she had cancer, me trying to take over everything domestic made her feel worse. We negotiated that she could retain her share of chores, but I could veto for the day if I thought she was overextending herself. For the entirety of our relationship, the amount of chores I do has nothing to do with how much sex we have. I cook dinner? We have sex. She cooks dinner? Sex. Someone else cooks dinner? Believe it or not, sex.

I credit a lot of our success to strong communication and clear boundaries. The chores:sex ratio seems to go completely out the window in a healthy, communicative relationship. Again, in my experience.

I am also a bicyclist with three different bikes. One watch replaces three bicycle computers. I can track performance metrics, longevity of components, and service intervals… for all of my bicycles.

My watch also has functions for sailing performance metrics, kayaking, hiking, running, and lots more sports.

That’s ignoring the other watch functions: timers, find my phone (great for when the phone slips between cushions and I didn’t notice), compass, barometric trends, notification filtering…

My partner has the same watch. The longitudinal health stats from her watch was one of the key factors in getting her health complaints taken seriously. One medical facility completely, repeatedly dismissed her concerns as “nothing serious.” Turns out she had Stage-IVb cancer (now recovered).

“Nonviolent Communication” by Marshall Rosenberg.

The lessons for communication and non-reactivity will pay dividends in every aspect of your interpersonal relations. Work, friendships, romantic relationships, even dealing with customer disservice.

Having seen firsthand what happens when someone unknowingly enters a hypoxic enclosed space, I think the difference is foreknowledge. Thrashing sounds like acidosis from holding one’s breath. I was helping an acquaintance work on his old steel boat. There was a watertight compartment. The risk of steel-enclosed spaces is that rusty steel in an enclosed space can consume all of the oxygen, leaving only nitrogen rich air.

He opened the hatch and, before I could stop him, he just strode on in like it was nothing. He was unconscious before I could get to him, maybe ten seconds. Fortunately, he was near enough to the hatch that I could just reach in and grab him, rather than trying to find an air tank and regulator, and then put it on.

He recovered just fine, but had a terrible headache. He didn’t remember anything about it. He didn’t thrash. There was no drama. He walked in and fell unconscious. Lucky for him it was a small space, so the bulkheads kept him from doing a full header into the steel deck.

I misspoke, and you raise a good point. I meant gift economies, and that error is on me. And those are pretty well-documented. I’ll stick to my firsthand experiences:

• Waianae, Oahu in Hawaii. The weekly take-what-you-need-bring-what-you-can food exchanges there are a huge stopgap for food insecurity and also spur community bonding
• Burning Man - TTITD, regionals, and much of the hippie festival circuit have a robust gifting culture

As a very young kid, I thought there was a very hungry monster that lived inside vacuum cleaners. The switch was just a lever to open a flap and expose the monster’s sucking hunger.

You are confidently incorrect on this. Currency == money. Money is, for we hoi polloi, a barely consentual conversion and exchange system for our labor, hypothetically allowing us to convert our labor into readily fungible exchange units. Money, at the Capital Class level, is debt, and therefore control, i.e. power. Money is just how they keep score.

There are plenty of barter gifting and Communist (“from those of ability to those of need”) economies, just on scales that fly below the radar of most economists. Your sweeping assertion leads me to believe that you may simply be ignorant of those non-monetary exchanges. Would you be willing to add more context to your assertion?

Edit: I misspoke; crashfrog raises a valid point, and I meant gift economies.

Is anyone else contemptuous of proprietary systems on bicycles? The spiraling complexity and lack of interoperability even on acoustic bike drivetrains really chaps my ass.

Just me? Fine, I’ll slink back to my retrogrouch hidey-hole now. 😆

While I don’t see the need for bicycle ABS in any of my riding, I do see why some may find it helpful. And this lawsuit seems like a step in the right direction for interoperability.

Wampum was used by Eastern Costal tribes as a storytelling aid.

In the Salish Tribes, dentalium shell necklaces were used as a status symbol/indication of social rank. Some tribes used the necklaces as a type of currency, but I’ve only heard the “some tribes did this” part; never anything about which specific tribes used dentalium as currency.

Obviously, anything that holds perceived value can be traded.

Source: went to junior high in a school that taught two full years of Haudenosaunee (also called Iroquois) history.

Salish source: I’ve been a volunteer naturalist in the Puget Sound for eight years with an annual training requirement, with entire days allocated to history of the original Salish tribe for the area where we’re working.

So… like running a blender in reverse? 😁

The Salish Tribes existed in the PacNW for over 13,000 years without money.

I see Robert Evans, I upvote. Really folks, Jobs was such a piece of shit that he got a 4-parter of coverage on Behind the Bastards. Highly suggested. https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=aEv08Zzunfc&si=xGHOjTXfizCplLDp

All other things aside, Mao has some legendary lack of chin. Like… Was this just a bad angle? I’ve only seen missing chins in caricatures and comic book villains.

You do know that almost all modern on-road motorcycles are CARB-compliant, right? Oh, but what about those small motorcycles? https://www.transportpolicy.net/standard/us-motorcycles-emissions/ As of 2006, all Class I and II motorcycles must be compliant with few exceptions.

I don’t know where you are getting your numbers for your claims. These are some significant assertions that, even prima facie, don’t make sense.

1 person in 1 car emits less emissions than 1 person on 1 motorcycle

Even from just a thermodynamics standpoint, this assertion not only feels wrong, but is wrong. Maybe a two-stroke motorcycle could out-emit a modern SOV.

I see a lot of specific examples, but here is a good engineering guideline: do not skimp on physical interfaces. **Anywhere energy is changing form or if it touches your body, don’t skimp on those. **

For example

• tires
• bicycle saddle
• heaters/furnaces
• electrical inverters
• keyboard
• mouse
• engines
• shoes
• eyewear
• clothes (buy used if necessary, but always buy quality clothing)

Quality usually means more money, but sometimes one is able to find a high quality and low-cost version. In my experience though, trying to find the cheap version that works well means trying so many permutations; it would have been more economical to just get the more costly version in the first place.

Religion now throws a null pointer exception?

Eight what?

Holy hell! This was the most succinct, concise, and “yeah, your high school history textbooks whitewashed all this shit” summary of the modern Conservative political machine. It’s like Robert Evans, Matt Taibbi, Jake Hanrahan, and Kurt Andersen had a love child that came out as a summary text.

If anyone got to my comment here, but only skimmed parent comment, please do yourself a favor and bask in that bit.