• 3 Posts
  • 449 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: October 2nd, 2023

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  • I avoided making friends to just not be called that shit. I’ve picked fights with well-meaning people for calling that shit “pretty”.

    That’s a pretty extreme reaction, especially when you’ve identified them as well meaning. RE the family there are unfortunately people who enjoy pushing buttons. Especially when they’re guaranteed a reaction that they’re looking for. Either ignore people who call you by the old name before you legally changed it or politely remind them of your new name. All these reactions in this post over a name is pretty concerning behaviour for someone who may not know, especially how much impact it’s had on your life per your recount. Might be worth chatting to a therapist about too?



  • I’ve worn hearing aids in both ears since I was young so I can understand. Its probably been the last couple of generations the tech has got to a decent place and that’s after nearly 30 years of wearing them.

    The problem I find with most older people who acquire hearing loss later in life is shame or similar feelings, even if they say otherwise. If you have a good audiologist when you get hearing aids you’ll do real ear measurements. It can often take multiple trips to the audiologist, doing these test, to calibrate hearing aids properly. My partners mother is like this, where she hasn’t gone back since her initial fitting and as a result stop wearing her aids all the time.

    My suggestion to anyone with relative like that is to do anything short of booking the appointment for them to get these real ear measurements done. Do them until the sound matches expectations. These device are expensive; so people have every right to take them back until they perform as expected. This includes sending the aids back and getting a replacement/different aid if needed. You wouldn’t drop several grand on a TV and just put up with it if the picture quality was shit. I have the phonak audeo which were expensive but sounds amazing, which is different for my degree of hearing loss.

    Phonak and Signia are known brands with Signia (formerly Siemens) being in the space for a long time. If your country has it, try the government funded audiologist. Happy to answer any questions you may have.

    Below is a photo of what a REM looks like, show your relative and ask if he’s had them. If not (change audiologist immediately) ensure they get them done until the hearing device perform as expected. Any time they don’t, tell him write down how and inform his audiologist (I would always forget stuff when I was at an appointment). Most audiologist are not only good at their jobs but passionate about it and will try their utmost best to rectify issues you bring to them.

    They place this on your ear and then you put in hearing aids. They then play different tones/noises to monitor how you hearing aids perform. It may take multiple visits but it is worth it.



  • Dr Collier is awesome, love her content. Some of her stories about being a woman in science are both fascinating and depressing. Also the statistic she provided about DV victims and choking (due to Feynman choking his spouse) was alarming. Super interesting content creator and super competent at communicating science.



  • I don’t know the career of this particular woman but a politician ragging on the work ethic of anyone is hilarious.

    What statistic is she basing this on, any or just her feelings? Just go work at a grocery store? Maybe she should ask these “managers” who’s she’s basing this opinion on what their turn around on employees is, what their wages and guaranteed hours are. The opinion of managers on the work ethic of anyone means less than shit to me having met at least one manager in my life and having worked retail/hospo before.

    Pretty easy to advocate for “young” people to go work shitkicker jobs in retail and hospo when you sit at a desk in air con all day for a living. I know if I lost my current career I sure as fuck won’t go back.





  • Didn’t go back to reddit and am not trans but I just wanted say, otherwise your journey has been exactly the same as mine! From Kbin to lemm.ee and RIP apollo indeed. There’s a lot of trans friendly comms and instances in general. 196 may be a familiar name and the blahaj instance in general seems trans friendly. Depends on what type of comms you’re looking for. Check out voyager if you haven’t already, very reminiscent of Apollo. Welcome back.





  • A good reason to say no is when you don’t feel up to it, period. I’ve had similar issues with my partner, so I understand his frustration. However, it stemmed from repeatedly having to initiate and being turned down. So our work around was if I get turned down a couple times in a row, the expectation is that she will then initiate as soon as she’s up for it. I have a high libido too but you still have to understand that your partner may be going through stuff and not take it personal when they say no. Why burn a long term relationship because your partner is having a rough time in the short term?

    Also, phrasing it as “wifely duties” just feels sorta weird to ick for me.

    He told me that “marital duties” aren’t something you can just neglect based on how you feel in the moment and asked how I would react if he just stopped paying the mortgage because he was “too tired.”

    Yeah just, borderline inappropriate imo.