Google opts you into absolutely random feature testing, without your consent.

My entire family is on Android 12, and everyone uses Google Phone for calls (more out of necessity than choice).

Google Phone used to use bubbles to allow interaction with a call in the background. It had 4 options, including hold and end. This bubble could be moved literally anywhere on screen and it would retain that position the next time a call would be placed. This allowed for maximum reachability.

Then over the past year or two, I’ve noticed that Google would switch to the new Call Chip method of background call handling. It’s a dumbass little chip in the top left portion of your device’s screen (in your status bar). No, you cannot reach it unless you move your entire hand. No, it has no function besides showing you the call duration. No, tapping on it will not give you a list of important and common actions. Instead, it will open the Call Screen. And yes, it manages to cancel out the one function the status bar has in Android - NOTIFICATION ICONS.

WHY GOOGLE?! WHY GOOGLE?!

And every week or two, they’d go back on that fucking decision, so I’d have hooes of getting the bubble back… Only for them to shred any hope I’d had left. Now, as ass backwards as it might be, this update is NOT the reason I’m pissed off.

Here’s a bright idea, Google - DON’T START TESTING SOMETHING IF YOU HAVEN’T DECIDED IF YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO DO IT.

And even more importantly, DON’T ENROLL ME INTO YOUR FUCKING A B TESTING UNLESS I ASK FOR IT. FUCK YOU.

I know it’s a necessary part of testing, but to not only enforce it onto users by default (opt out instead of opt in) but also be indecisive as fuck and keep pissing off average users (my mom and her mom send their regards, fucking assholes) by switching it on and off like a fucking toddler with a torch is just absolute dogshit.

As much as I love Android, THIS is one of the reasons why people prefer iOS. Apple rarely goes back on shit and they don’t test their half-baked shit with their customers by playing bait-and-fucking-switch.

Fuck you Google. I LOVE Android. I really do.

But you… I hate so much of what you choose to be. I loathe you. Fuck off!