@alyaza@beehaw.org is MIA currently, but this weekly thread has been so awesome to see and keep going; so I am making what would be her typical post for this week. Alyaza; stay safe friend, I hope everything is okay.
Beeple, how’s your mid week going so far??
You must log in or # to comment.
It’s often hard to be married to someone with PTSD. I haven’t had a very good week. In fact, I’ve not had a very good year. My nephew committed suicide, my parents aren’t doing so well, and I feel like I have no one to talk to. I listen, but I don’t really talk. And when I do speak, I feel like people don’t understand me. If I show even the slightest vulnerability, I get told I’m playing the victim, so I try to keep a cheerful exterior.
The best things I have are: My discord buddies (really the closest friends I’ve got, which I know is pathetic), and I actually like my job and see what we do as praxis (though it’s been harder and harder not to feel like I’m just doing zombie mode).
There’s just a deep and profound sadness inside me, and my emotions are so raw that I just curl up like an armadillo.
The only moments I feel alive are when I’m on my longboard or bicycle. I keep thinking I should try to become closer friends with my longboarding pal because otherwise we probably won’t talk much in winter. I also reconnected with a friend who I used to be very close friends with back in high school, so I should work on that friendship, too.
It’s pretty bad. I am a freshly graduated programmer, I am pretty confident with my programming skills but I can’t find a job for 5 months now. I’am trying to make my communication skills better tho cuz English is not my first language but yeah.
Edit: just got an invitation for a job interview wish me luck!!!
Same boat here, haha. My spouse is a senior dev and mentors me when needed but even that isn’t helping. I’m just working voluntarily for someone that was my instructor but I am pretty much refactoring the code most of the time, lol.
oh, we got this!!
Good luck with the interview!
Even if you aren’t going to work there for whatever reason, the first interview is normally what sets things in motion and makes other opportunities start popping up all around you.
I have no idea why it’s this way, but it’s my personal observation and what most people I know tell me, so based on lots of anecdotal evidence.Yeah I’ve been in a few interview and yeah what you said about the first interview thing is right. At least every month I had one to two interviews and the last interviewer said that I need to improve on my English verbally like expressing my self, my ideas and less “umm/uhhh” moments.
That’s great news, and fantastic timing! Good luck on the interview, though I’m sure you’ve got this.
Thank you and I will do my best
Edit: just got an invitation for a job interview wish me luck!!!
Glad to hear it! Good luck, you’ve got this! 💪
One of my loved ones is in hospital (in another town) so I’m really hoping they are okay.
I still feel really shy about posting here, but I’m trying to be more myself on the internet lately. Or in general.
My prayers and sympathy. I also hope your loved one gets better soon and has a good prognosis.
Thank you! And thanks for starting the thread I like these, though I mostly lurk.
Sending positive thoughts, hope they pull through
Thank you! They are a huge believer in positive thoughts so I will tell them they are getting some extra!
Could be worthwhile giving @alyaza@beehaw.org a call if you know her in real life… It is a bit of a worry honestly based on her last post she hasn’t dropped by in 10 days (especially considering her last weekly update).
We have been in communication.
Good to hear. Just wanted to make sure
Been pretty chill so far!
Playing some baldurs gate 3 and studying for the az-305 test. Looks like the role based tests are going to be open book with access to Microsoft Learn soon.
My girlfriend moved in after a year and a half as well, got lots of organizing and remembering how to live when it’s not just you in the house again. Been almost 3 years since I’ve had someone else around haha. Going wonderfully so far!
That’s so cool! It’s so enjoyable to learn that side of someone you love as well, all the little things you only know about someone if you live with them.
I agree!
Nice to hear someone is having a great day.
Not super great. I had a planned surgery this Tuesday that the anesthesiologists cancelled last minute because I had some mild symptoms they weren’t comfortable with. Given that this surgery involves two surgeons and a robot it may be some time before it gets rescheduled but I’m currently left in the dark- both of the surgeons regular schedulers are off so they’re trying to find someone else to figure it out and they need to use OR time for the other surgeon because the main surgeon is booked into December. I’m a bit worried it’s gonna be a rather long wait but I won’t know for a bit- they asked to give them until next Monday to sort out a schedule 😔
So I’m gonna need to figure out support again whenever they decide to book me, and probably will need to go back to work for an unknown period of time 🫠
That must be incredibly frustrating, but it’s also good to see the anaesthetists take their job so seriously. Hope you don’t have to wait too long
Yeah honestly a lot of feelings I’m dealing with right now but frustration is one of the top ones. I wish I could cry about it but that’s just not in the cards right now
On one hand? I’ve posted a ton of memes that seem to make people happy.
On the other hand? I am desperately alone and failing at everything and can’t make myself happy. Can’t provide for myself. Can’t even sleep.
I’m not doing okay and I don’t even have friends to talk to. Things are rough and I’m afraid.
You should probably talk to a therapist. Maybe a psychologist. I know people who have gone through tough times ; going through therapy sessions helped them a big deal.
Easier said than done. I’m on a wait list and have been for months.
I’m going through a rough patch with my partner. I’m feeling really guilty about it, but they need time.
Rough patches are rough but it sounds like you are giving them the space they need. Hope it works out soon!
Apologized to a new friend over email, and as soon as I saw she wanted to call in her reply I got her on the phone and we talked things through.
Also I broke a nail and now my thumb looks like a baby’s thumb and it creeps me out.
It’s really nice to have friends who are willing to talk things through. So many problems can be overcome by good communication.
I’ve realized not so long ago how absolutely terrible I am at communication. It’s like when you reach a new level in a skill and suddenly you see how much you didn’t know that you don’t know.
Work is going crazy because 1 project got behind schedule and then another project got behind schedule as a consequence of the first project going off. Waterfall workflows, man.
But it’s looking ok. As long as I keep lifting afterwork and vibing out when I’m too tired, I think I’ll be ok lol
Thank goodness for flex hours and wfh though. I don’t know how I’d survive without being able to take a massive break away from it when it gets to be too much
My brother got COVID, and he infected me as well. Tuesday was a bit shit during the evening, Wednesday was totally shit, the whole day, and today it seems better, but it’s still shit nonetheless.
Not horrible, in general. The saga of the CPAP continues. Some nights I sleep well, some nights I don’t. I suppose I’m sort of getting used to it? Last night was not good so that’s colouring everything.
I saw a doctor who agreed to start me on post-menopausal HRT, as I have a family history of severe osteoporosis. I can think of about fifty other reasons I want to be on HRT, so I’m delighted.
My adult son and I made up from the huge fight we had last week, and I was able to come out of my room. The gist of the fight is that I need my adult kids to adult more than they do. I’m tired of managing the household. I know that in our location neither kid has the option of moving out (there’s a severe housing crisis and even if you find a place, rents are crazy expensive). I can live with that, but I can’t live with them doing nothing and leaving all the household chores to me like I’m the maid.
The Blindboy Podcast brought up this problem (adult children living with their parents because of the housing crisis) on one of his recent podcasts, but he framed it from the point of view of the adult children. I’m interested to hear what kind of struggles you face on the opposite side, apart from what you’ve just mentioned here. How did you picture your life when you got to this stage and how has that changed?
My own parents were of the “you’re an adult, look after yourself” generation, and my parenting style was the opposite of what they did. My kids were told they’d always have a home with me, and I meant it. I didn’t foresee that they’d still be at home at 28 and 21 years of age with no chance of them moving out anytime…well, it’s starting to feel like they might be here for good. It feels like there can be no end to it, we live in a rural area and that means no jobs as well as no houses.
I won’t lie, I was looking forward to my kids being grown and gone (with loads of visits of course). I’m struggling a lot lately. I never have any privacy in my own house, I’m having to lay down the law about things like voice chatting in the living room. My kids ought to have more privacy too, I sympathise with their side of it too. My 21 year old is in a bloody box room, god knows it’s not easy for any of us.
Well…the good news is I submitted my letter of resignation for my job, which I am thrilled about. I’ll have better pay and flexibility and work for a company that has more than adequate staffing and support.
The bad news is my boss is trying to do EVERYTHING she can to get me not to leave. I told her no 6 different ways to no avail. She doesn’t respect boundaries. My supervisor that left a year and a half ago said it took her three times to leave. I had a meeting with boss yesterday and felt so manipulated it was disgusting. I also have to give a month’s notice so it’s going to be a long 3 weeks. I’m hoping that once I sign a contract at my new job (hopefully tomorrow), that will get my boss to let it go.
The key is to let them know that you don’t give a damn about them anymore.
So many of you are going through difficult times that it’s a little hard to say: my week is going awesome.
I’m back at work, which is great because I love teaching.
We’ve almost finished the work on our house that we’d planned to do this summer.
And today I visited a gay sauna for the second time, starting to explore my bisexuality with my (straight) significant other’s blessings.
What do you teach btw?
I teach computer science, mainly programing languages and algorithms.
Favorite language? Why?
C/C++
This is 100% subjective, but I like how these languages allow/require you to understand how things work under the hood.
What about you? A Penguin Coder must have a favorite language too, I guess?
I agree with your assessment of C/C++. I like using C because lt makes you have to really understand what you want to do. Then explaining it well enough for the computer to do it. It’s not easy but it’s good. Lately I’ve been enjoying Golang. It is becoming my favorite language to just get stuff done in.
Not too bad, actually!
It’s been a while since I’ve last said that, and I’m not entirely sure why. Maybe I should appreciate the seemingly insignificant things more.
It’s summer here, and the sun has shown no mercy for a week now, but we’ve got A/C in the bedroom and living room so we can actually (mostly) enjoy the hot weather.
I’ve built a PC from spare parts and set it up in the shade next to the pool. This has been my office this week. I can watch the dogs wander around and sniff things and spend the work breaks scuba diving to depths of up to 150cm (5 feet).Yesterday it dawned on me that this is probably as close as most people I know will ever get to “living the dream”. It’s awesome. And I’m feeling a bit guilty for having “made it” when so many of my friends haven’t (yet).
Has this really happened to me, of all people?I’ve made a breakthrough at work to automate one piece of particularly stupid and repetitive work, and I can’t wait to get it through testing and discuss it with the person having to do that work.
The teenage kids have been mostly content and busy, so no unnecessary drama for a while. This alone is a massive improvement of our quality of life.Now all SO and me need to do is find ways to better defend our free time against work and the kids, and we’re pretty much exactly where we’ve always wanted to be.
Oh, and sleep better.
