“Umm sweaty, these are edge cases”

Completely unpredictable and unimaginable scenarios such as “child walking across street”

“Umm ackshually if you really think about it, it was the child’s fault for existing”

Wall

“It’s not perfect but it’s better than you”

I’ve never run over a child, but I guess that’s just me

“Humans make mistakes too”

I’m only machine after all, don’t put the blame on me

Here’s a handy checklist for you to assemble your pathetic defense of Tesla:

1. Deny that anything is wrong.

2. Deflect blame onto others, even your infant child.

3. Evade the question.

4. Justify it.