God just said you deserve to be kicked in the testicles by every victim

“Ah, well then. case closed. Give the man a pat on the back for being such a good Christian and we can finish up here. Let’s instead go get some witness statements on that psycho we found slaughtering everyone in that orphanage.”

“No need, sir. That case is closed.”

“Huh? How so?”

“He said the Lord told him to do it.”

“Hot diggity! Free afternoon!”

God told him people would become wealthy if they invested, the Colorado Division of Securities said in a statement Thursday.

God must be lying again, just like with the original sin when he told Adam and Eve they would die if they ate the fruit of the tree, but they ate it and didn’t die. You know who told the truth though? Lucifer. https://atheism.fandom.com/wiki/Original_sin

Magic sky Daddy will send you 2 bitcoin for every 1 you send now

*certain restrictions apply *see Bible for details

It’s sad how certain people automatically believe it when someone says something like that

Should’ve invested in HesuCrypto instead

Well, the lord is telling us that scamming people will land you a place in hell. But you do you.

Also this guy happens to look exactly like this major douchebag I worked with in Minnesota.