Turns out the reply in my thread telling me the best way to combat not caring about Linux is to care about Linux was absolutely correct.
I picked up a laptop, installed Linux Mint Cinnamon, and I’m already obsessed. I haven’t had this much fun with a PC in a long time and it’s just a cheapo Dell Inspiron 3520.
I highly recommend you try Linux Mint or Fedora, both are simple to use, stable, and well supported.
I personally use Fedora for development and gaming, but you might enjoy mint more for your use case