I’m not sure whether this is the right place for this question, but… How do you know?
Like, I would 100% be a woman if I could choose. I also always play a female character in games. When I see a girl I feel a strong sexual attraction, but I also feel jealous of her.
But, I’m honestly not sure if I am not cisgendered. I feel like I missed the boat. I also don’t know if I am sure enough. Is this impostor syndrome? How do I know it’s not just sexual attraction? Or me being unhappy with the role men have in this world? Or me being depressed otherwise? It all seems like a big tangled mess.
Thanks a lot for all the comments. I made an appointment with my GP next week and hope that he can refer me to a therapist. All the best to you all <3
Often, people who ask this question already know the answer, deep down. In those cases, the issue isn’t so much that they don’t know the answer, but rather that they’re afraid of the consequences of accepting that answer.
And to me, it sounds like maybe you do know the answer…
This was a big break through point for me. It was never a question of if I was a girl but rather if I was strong enough to handle being exposed as such. Once I understood my fear it was only a matter of courage. Now I’m still not perfect but I’m much more genuine now than I’ve ever been before.
By the way OP, I started transitioning at 36. It’s never too late.
I would 100% be a woman if I could choose
you can choose.
so, you 100% are a woman
problem solved by logic
:3
Cisgender people basically don’t ever think about being the opposite gender. The fact that you’re even questioning is practically guaranteed that you’re at least some level of transgender. Whether or not it’s bothering you enough to pursue it is something that you have to figure out for yourself unfortunately. It will all come down to how badly you want it, how accepting your friends and family are, and how accepting the society you live in is or how much you’re willing to put up with from society at large.
Yeah, I was wondering if people did. Reactions is what is part of what scares me to even find out though. Seeing how brave others are on here though certainlh helps.
I would assume that anyone negatively affected by sexism / gender roles (nearly everyone) has thought about being a different gender.
I assumed “thought about being a different gender” in this context meant “actively desiring it irrespective of negative impacts of sexism and gender roles.” Such that, even if one could magically take away those negative impacts, the desire would remain.
For what it’s worth I (cis, a man) have felt less than a man on occasion and have always been more of the quiet, sensitive, bookish type. Sure, I have pondered being another gender briefly here or there – as a thought experiment or trying to empathize, perhaps – but I have never seriously wanted to trade being a man for any reason. I want to stay how I am, actually.
Hopefully this is helpful to some.
Like, I would 100% be a woman if I could choose.
You know by believing yourself when you write something like this. No cis person would ever say that and mean it.
I suspect there’s some people who might sorta mean it in the moment they say it if they’re jealous about something like some girl getting free drinks or something. Like, they don’t want to be a woman though: they want some perk some women get. Likewise, a woman who wishes they were a man to avoid some forms of sexual harassment or workplace discrimination may mean it in a way, but may still be cis.
Ah for me it was starting medical transition.
The moment I put on my first patch, the calmness I felt and the certainty that it was the correct decision… basically sealed the deal for me. And it just kept getting better.
I had so long to change my mind, and even now going on three years I could throw in the towel but I don’t want to… not even close.
Every day the desire grows stronger within me to see this through. No matter how I look in the end, no matter what society or governments think.
I came to this from my pursuit of the self. I was neglected and abused as a child and came into adulthood with very little sense of self. When I found and cultivated my sense of self, I persistently found that being myself in private was being a woman. I can’t tell you who you are, but seek yourself. Grow yourself, explore your ego. The answer is in there.
Relatable, I also had minimal sense of self, but I think due to being on the spectrum. It’s an ongoing process to develop who I am, to form an actual sense of identity instead of imitating the people I’m around. Gender is only one part of it.
Even if I never came out, the journey of self exploration has been very rewarding.
There’s a science fiction story, I think by Cory Doctorow, in which one of the technologies was gender reassignment restrooms. Go in, spend (unspecified, but not too terribly long, since characters talked about going in preparation for activities that night) time, and emerge with the new gender as though born to it. And my first thought was, yes, I would pay any amount of money to have that available to me. Like genderdysphoria.fyi says, if you think about it at all, you’re already thinking about it 100% more than most cis people ever do.
You are right, I’m on the waiting list now.
Idk how this site even works but lately ive been very confused i have no real sexdrive to speak off and idk what i am how does anyone know should i be trans idk i know its nonsense and ill never be how id wanna be how do yall deal with it im mega socially awkward a single dm kills me i guess :/
So, based on the answers I got I realized that I am most likely trans. Therefore, I started experimenting:
- Trying on make up
- Trying on female clothes
- Removing body hair
- Using feminine body language
All of these things felt incredibly natural and helped me understand that, yes, I am transgender. I started HRT this week and I was really excited when I could start. I’ve been denying this part of my identity for decades and finally being able to embrace that part of myself feels really euphoric.
I don’t know how this feels for you, a low sex drive could have many causes, but reading through the replies on this post and actively experimenting really helped me narrow this down. One of the kind people here recommended https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en/, which was also a great resource.
