Hi folks, I thought I’d create some content and share some experience and learning around any concerns I had about being childfree in my first 10 years after my tubal. I hope this can help those that are at this stage now.

I will say that 35 years after my tubal, I realized in retrospect, somewhere during that time, that I knew in my teens I didn’t want kids. I did go through a period, soon after my tubal at 24, of about 10 years where a lot of my friends tried to pressure me into either spending a ton of time with their kids or even adopt, where I wondered if I really wanted kids cuz I liked babies under 6 months of age. It wasn’t until I got close to someone and her newborn, where I spent plenty of time with her kid over the next 3 years and she was TOTALLY accepting of my decision and NEVER pushed an agenda. I finally realized I truly lost interest in the kid after about 6 months of age and knew I wasn’t interested, not because I was pushing back against acquaintances who were pushing their own agenda in opposition to mine, but because I JUST LOST INTEREST. It took a good, secure in their parenthood, friend to let me understand there was zero interest on my part.

As it turns out what I like about babies was the oxytocin hit from carrying them around, which I learned I could get from cats and small dogs, of which I have 2 now, and they stay small forever instead of just 6 months!

  • pale_tony@sh.itjust.works
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    1 year ago

    I’m glad you met someone who was supportive of your life choices. I do the same for anyone who is on the fence. It’s an extremely personal choice and no one should be lauded or derided for either decision.

    I have kids. Love ‘‘em to death. But, damn, not everyone needs to be a parent. My wife and I would’ve been fine not having kids. It just turned out to be something we both wanted.

    It’s a shame that other parents try and pressure others into a life changing decision. Be you and be happy!

    • Rokk@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      I think if you have something that you really enjoy and think is amazing it’s sometimes hard to see how that might not be for everyone.

    • thegreatgarbo@lemmy.worldOP
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      1 year ago

      Right? I’ve met a few folks over the years when I was of child bearing where they didn’t push any agendas and it’s always refreshing.