My deadlift form is probably really bad. I would be able to tell if I had any idea what I was doing.
Main problem is that I cannot tell if I am engaging my hamstrings and glutes properly or at all. I do feel a little bit of exertion in my thighs so that is a res flag.
There are a million videos about this on YouTube but it creates a choice paralysis situation for me. Plus the “trainers” at my gym are unqualified and terrible. They have given me advice like “the barbell should touch the nipples during bench press” and “the eyes should be looking down during deadlift”.
I agree with this. But at least in my experience aiming for the nips makes you do this. I feel like aiming for just below the nips is a more sensible goal. That way you can get the full range of motion, you don’t strain your shoulders because of the elbows flaring out as you mentioned, and you work the right muscles.