Funny, but this is just a piece of fiction. It reminds me of the old BOFH stories.
What? The? Fuck?
Scan it. For the love of whatever you believe in. I need to know!
It’s got that LOLRANDOM vibe that I detest. Arc4Random was King.
However, I will share my worst interview experience.
It was for a company that was working on an app to move stock from one car dealership to another. Dealers would sell cars to each other, essentially.
I show up 15 mins early, as is tradition. I check in and wait until the scheduled time. Then 5 mins past, then 10 mins past. At this point I’ve written off this company and call my partner asking if I should just bail out or not. She says even bad interviews are good practice and I should stay the course even if I think this one is a lost cause.
Her wisdom is sound, so I stick around. About 15 mins after the agreed time I am finally asked to meet with the manager. He guides me through what is to this day, the drabbest, driest office I have ever been in. The only colour in the place is a bunting of world flags around the tops of the walls. I get to meet 2 lovely people who both seemed very capable and competent. We have a great time going through some team-fit and technical questions. Then I get to the code challenge. I am provided with a laptop and it is fucking GROSS. Like imagine a keyboard you haven’t cleaned in 5 years kind of gross. The ask was pretty straight forward, download images and display them in a list, the classic ‘keep-shit-off-the-main-thread’ challenge. I’m working away while the EM is paying me no mind whatsoever. He is working away on his computer while I’m doing this. About halfway through I tell him; “I don’t think I’ll have enough time to complete the project”. I’m trying to display a proactive mindset and I expected we’d then talk about paring the project down to an MVP. All classic interview gotchas. His response though was: “Deal with it.” I knew I wasn’t taking any offer they made me when they left me 15 mins late, but God fucking damn did I not expect that level of disrespect. Anyhow, I hauled ass out of there and called up the recruiter who organised it and told him straight up I would rather be unemployed than take a position there, with details as to why. Hoping to save any unfortunate candidate a similar experience.
I still feel bad for the 2 engineers I spoke to, they seemed really cool and undeserving of working under a stone-cold prick of a manager.
That was not what I expected.
chroot chroot chroot!
I am CHROOOT
We are CHROOT