If you find drawing a single conclusion from evidence to be indistinguishable from magic, then you’ve done more to insult yourself than I ever could.

Actually, it makes sense now that you don’t see a power imbalance between yourself and drunk people, because it seems like you need people to be drunk for the floor of their intelligence to drop below the ceiling of yours.

How did you become all-knowing?

Probably from reading the part in your comment which says:

So since I don’t drink I can’t hookup with drunk girls? Sounds like BS to me.