I watched a bit of Outlander with my wife, and I (way too) often think about the scene where the king of France is casually sitting on the toilet surrounded by men, trying really hard to take a shit and having no luck whatsoever. Dude thinks he’s cursed or something. He’s in a lot of pain. Jacobite main character speaks up and tells him about porridge. King is like, “Yeah right. The fuck are you? That’s peasant food.”, and Jacobite is like, “Nah. Eat your porridge, lad. It’ll do ya fine.”

And it did. He ate his porridge and shit so good.