And at least two related certs.

When you are a grown up you don’t realize you are watching your parents die.

Alternately, if you dry your meat with a duck it will promote the Mallard Reaction.

I’ve seen goddamn ads for apartments that require sharing FB/Instagram contact info.

Umm… That’s a fraction, not a percentage… /S

Had a dude tell me he wanted to ‘disrupt’ social media by creating a LinkedIn alternative that allowed posting videos.

He just needed a couple ‘techies’ like me to get it off the ground.

Haven’t heard from him in a while. I hope rehab worked out for him.

As a member of the local #42069 Union of Chapless Chaps, I waggle my fingers and blow a raspberry in solidarity.

Wash your hands in the bathroom, nobody bats an eye.

Scrub down your belt buckle in the sink and people lose their minds!

Imagine playing solitaire and everytime you flip the draw pile a 30 second unskippable online casino ad plays.

I remember I had a date with a girl back in the’10s. We hit it off and got back to her place. Wanted to show her a funny Internet video.

She brought out an ancient laptop that refused to boot and said her Ex had tried to fix it with Linux.

I got it pointed at the right dependencies, she fellated me as it updated.

I think this is my only sexy story that includes Linux.

Well, I guess there was this one time I loaned a lonely neighbor DOS 6 disks.

But, that does not include Linux.