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Cake day: June 14th, 2023

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  • You’re allowed to identify with this description if you want to but it’s important to acknowledge that these social categories you’ve described are not reflective of reality. There are no alpha or beta males. Some people might be more or less likely to settle into those roles in particular situations, but they aren’t immutable personality types, nor even aspects of human nature. Rather, they are the result of unhealthy social structures that are forced on people and which they adopt in response. From what I’ve seen, “alpha” and “beta” in particular tend to be highly overlapping categories. A person who adopts a dominant persona in one context is often more likely to act submissive in another, usually because they’ve been indoctrinated into thinking these roles are inevitable or healthy.

    If you are completely trapped in these extremely hierarchical social relations (or if you imagine that you are—online narratives about society are important here) then the sigma label might appeal to you. Acting “beta” is humiliating and acting “alpha” is sociopathic—or perhaps it merely seems out of reach if you have low self-esteem. So there was a need for another role for people who didn’t feel they fit into the alpha-beta dynamic, and it turns out this was most people.

    But none of this is healthy human behavior. Just because alpha and beta don’t fit doesn’t mean you or anyone else is sigma. Most people I know don’t fall into any of these categories. They neither dominate, submit, or isolate. They are social, but in a supportive and collaborative way. In my view, this is how people are meant to relate to one another. The prevalence of these social hierarchies—or at least the belief in them—are symptoms of a deep sickness that has invaded our society. Rather than asking yourself which box you fit in, you should be asking yourself how you can free yourself and others of these boxes.