The last time I went to a strip club was 18 years ago. I would usually go with a group of my coworkers which was a few girls and a few guys. There were two entry options too. The $20 option or the $5 option. The $20 option got you a soda and free refills. And if you paid the $5 option, the bouncers insisted you kept buying sodas or they would throw you out. You could also smoke in the strip clubs then. The strippers weren’t allowed to walk around with cigarettes but they could sit down at your table and smoke and talk with you for a little bit. A city ordinance was passed a few years later that made smoking indoors in city limits illegal. I also passed another law where strippers were not allowed to take off certain types of clothing. I don’t remember what specifically but they pulled it back quite a bit. Anyway, that’s my non-interesting story about strip clubs. If you want to know some more stories, I did see a traveling stripper show. They were twins and they had a routine. I also went to amateur night where anyone that came to the strip club could get up on stage and try to earn some tips and there was one girl that got up there and her mother was there with her and she kept on saying “doesn’t she look great she just had a baby” A couple of the girls I came with got up on stage too. Also got lap dances on two separate occasions. One from Lexus and one from Becky. Not their real names of course. There was also the safari room which was basically just the bed and you would pay a stripper too dry hump you on the bed. I never did that though.

I love going to a fancy restaurant and just smelling the food.

“That’s fucked up, bro. You’re making it sound gay.”