Our sink is blue and we’re not talking about it. It happened over a week ago; I was leaning over the sink, brushing my teeth, when I noticed that there was a sort of lazuline patina that had seeped over most of the surface. Margret hasn’t mentioned anything about this. Why she hasn’t is that she’s obviously tried to clean the sink with, well, I don’t know, some fluid used for stripping entrenched cerriped colonies from the hulls of submarines or something (they were probably offering three bottles of the stuff for the price of two at Aldi). She is waiting for me to mention it. But I am a wily fox, and will be doing nothing of the sort. I’m no wet-behind-the-ears, naive youth anymore, not by a looooong way, and I can perfectly see the spiked pit the seemingly innocent words, ‘Did you know the sink’s blue’ are covering. It would go - precisely - like this: Me: Did you know the sink’s blue? Margret: Yes. I did. I used a jungle exfoliant produced by the Taiwanese military to clean it, and it discoloured the surface. Me: Oooooooo. K. Margret: Well maybe, just maybe, if you cleaned the sink once in a while… You see what she did there? Now I’m facing a whole day of ‘When did you last…?’ Well, not this canny fellow - not this time, my friends. Our sink is blue and we’re not talking about it.
i think i will go get the books. i can’t stop reading this
She really over-reacts whenever she catches me wearing her underwear.
ITT: Lots of people not recognizing satire.
Excuse me, this is Lemmy, where we always assume the worst and comments are almost always negative.
That’s not a Lemmy thing, that’s just life
you appropriately assumed the worst and wrote a negative comment 🙂
This feels like its from the mid 1900s. The styling is certainly a choice.
I miss the old internet
The late 90s /early 00s was the peak.
Same. neocities as a lot of cool websites on it though.
As I recall, it’s from the early or mid 1990s.
Isn’t that just when this domain was created? But I can believe it was in that time frame. I would have guessed earlier - he has a book version in the early 2000s, and I thought the web/online stuff was a few years prior. Maybe not though.
Man I hope the authors partner is aware of that page because the colour scheme alone is (was, I hope) a red flag. Also from the link up top -
Mil would like to apologise: For the only thing for which his girlfriend hasn’t yet blamed him; The eruption of Mount St Helens. Sorry - don’t know what I was thinking
This is really, really old. Like, I used to get it as a regular email. I’m guessing it was early to mid 90s?
Thank god because otherwise the colour scheme alone should be a criminal offence.
I eat two-fingered Kit-Kats like I’d eat any other chocolate bars of that size, i.e., without feeling the need to snap them into two individual fingers first. Margret accused me of doing this, ‘deliberately to annoy her’.
🤣
I shared this one with my wife. Sounds like something I’d get accused of, lol
To be fair to Margret, I eat all Kit-Kats like this because I know it will upset anyone who sees me do it.
This is fucking hilarious
Wow, that just keeps going and going, eh?
Ikr, I was telling myself that I’ll finish reading that and get back to what I was doing—20 minutes later I realise I’m not even halfway
Haha omg I haven’t read this site in years thanks for bringing me back, and with new drama to pore over!
Cutting a kiwi vertically is psychopath behavior
I tried it once, and god it was not worth it.
Yeah it’s best to just bite into it
Agreed. A close second to cutting in half (the proper way) and eating it with a spoon.
The second they engineer a kiwi with alopecia is the last day a knife will touch a kiwi.
Wow, the straights are not okay.
I am mostly? straight, and the degree to which this kind of extremely hostile relationship is normalized has always just been completely baffling to me.
I’ve known plenty of LGBTQ+ people, and its still the same… its not just straight people in my experience.
I’ve known a few people that actually had loving relationships, but the vast, vast majority of people I’ve known are in or have been in extremely co-dependent, emotionally / physically / financially abusive, 80% of diaglogue between partners is insults played off as ‘playful’, one or both partners are obvious narcissicsts, passive-aggressive, make wildly stupid and irresponsible decisions…
(what I mean by mostly? straight is that I don’t know a word for being masculine presenting myself, and being attracted to my preffered type of feminine presenting people, regardless of their current or original biological sex.)
Oh my god I forgot this existed. And I’m right back in…
Yikes
